From time to time, when tensions are high or I can sense a pervading uneasy energy circling me in some way, I do a little meditative exercise. Usually, it is a visualization or relaxation ritual--something easy to refocus my mind. It is similar to Sar's and the one she did with the clouds, but a little different.
So, as a means to, perhaps, prepare you for the unforeseen stressful events in your own life, this week's blog will have you contemplating your "happy place" either real or metaphorical or imaginary. Please answer the following questions:
Where do you like to go to escape from the pressures of your life? (It doesn't have to be a real place).
What is your best childhood memory? Describe it in detail.
Where and when do you feel your absolute best? Why?
What is the most soothing sound you can imagine?
Which colors affect your mood the most? How do those colors affect it?
When during the day do you feel the most at ease? Why? What is it about that time of day that provides comfort?
Relax while you're writing this--please don't start at 11:45 on Thursday night and rush forward trying to get it in under the wire--that would really defeat the purpose.
Remember to breathe...
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Monday, May 22, 2017
The Things I never Said...
And oh, how that list has grown over the years.
What about you?
We talked a lot last week about love and relationships--listening to what some of you think about this topic was equal parts eye-opening and heart-breaking.
That you have hurt to the levels you have fills me with a sense of sorrow, frustration, and yes, even anger. In some cases I know the people who hurt you and that makes things...messy, but has zero impact on my ability to see you and that other person separately. The anger mostly stems from my own inability to help rather than anything else.
In any case, after our very robust and resounding discussions, I started to think about the levels of despair, anger, uneasiness etc that some situations seem to bring up in people. I began to realize that a lot of what some of you are feeling might be the result of what I like to call "residual reconsiderations"--which basically just means that leftover nagging feeling you have when you feel like there is something you needed to say, but didnt think you needed to until you lost the opportunity.
Well, my lovely Langer lemurs (yeah...that was my desperation for alliteration...), I am all about trying to reclaim lost opportunities.
So, here in our spot, where you will be safe--you can have back that lost opportunity to say the thing you never said..to whoever you need to say it to. Could be a friend, an ex, a parent, a teacher, a coach, or even yourself. Never underestimate the value of finding your words.
I'll go first. And it won't be easy. But, the important stuff--it never is.
To the boy from the beach, all those years ago:
The first day you talked to me felt the longest day of the year. I replayed that conversation endlessly and I am pretty sure I did not sleep a single second of that night because I didn't want to forget anything.
I tell you this now because I didn't put it in our wedding vows. I wanted to. But I couldn't. It was too hard because the boy from the beach wasn't the same person as the one standing at the end of the aisle, and on that day, in that moment, I didn't want to remember that I was marrying the person who wasn't THE person anymore. That didn't fit the narrative of the day. So, I said nothing. Just like I did for about 5 of the 13 years leading up to that day.
I am sorry I didn't talk more. I am sorry I didn't let you see how sad I was. I am sorry that you lost the ability to see it for yourself, even though I thought you were the only one who ever had that wizard-like vision that could really SEE me. Or maybe you could, but my disguise was just...that good.
Some things don't really make sense. Some things just ARE. We were one of those things. And, we will continue to be, even if you never choose to look again. You are my past, and ever-present in my day to day existence. Most of what I am, I learned from you--good and bad. I love you for that, and for many more things too dumb to mention. Thank you, Corey. For being my greatest champion, my toughest critic, and my safe harbor from storms to dangerous to navigate on my own. You taught me well, and I will love you for the rest of my life because of it.
Yeah, well. I said it wouldn't be easy. The fact that I can't see now tells me I was right.
What about you?
We talked a lot last week about love and relationships--listening to what some of you think about this topic was equal parts eye-opening and heart-breaking.
That you have hurt to the levels you have fills me with a sense of sorrow, frustration, and yes, even anger. In some cases I know the people who hurt you and that makes things...messy, but has zero impact on my ability to see you and that other person separately. The anger mostly stems from my own inability to help rather than anything else.
In any case, after our very robust and resounding discussions, I started to think about the levels of despair, anger, uneasiness etc that some situations seem to bring up in people. I began to realize that a lot of what some of you are feeling might be the result of what I like to call "residual reconsiderations"--which basically just means that leftover nagging feeling you have when you feel like there is something you needed to say, but didnt think you needed to until you lost the opportunity.
Well, my lovely Langer lemurs (yeah...that was my desperation for alliteration...), I am all about trying to reclaim lost opportunities.
So, here in our spot, where you will be safe--you can have back that lost opportunity to say the thing you never said..to whoever you need to say it to. Could be a friend, an ex, a parent, a teacher, a coach, or even yourself. Never underestimate the value of finding your words.
I'll go first. And it won't be easy. But, the important stuff--it never is.
To the boy from the beach, all those years ago:
The first day you talked to me felt the longest day of the year. I replayed that conversation endlessly and I am pretty sure I did not sleep a single second of that night because I didn't want to forget anything.
I tell you this now because I didn't put it in our wedding vows. I wanted to. But I couldn't. It was too hard because the boy from the beach wasn't the same person as the one standing at the end of the aisle, and on that day, in that moment, I didn't want to remember that I was marrying the person who wasn't THE person anymore. That didn't fit the narrative of the day. So, I said nothing. Just like I did for about 5 of the 13 years leading up to that day.
I am sorry I didn't talk more. I am sorry I didn't let you see how sad I was. I am sorry that you lost the ability to see it for yourself, even though I thought you were the only one who ever had that wizard-like vision that could really SEE me. Or maybe you could, but my disguise was just...that good.
Some things don't really make sense. Some things just ARE. We were one of those things. And, we will continue to be, even if you never choose to look again. You are my past, and ever-present in my day to day existence. Most of what I am, I learned from you--good and bad. I love you for that, and for many more things too dumb to mention. Thank you, Corey. For being my greatest champion, my toughest critic, and my safe harbor from storms to dangerous to navigate on my own. You taught me well, and I will love you for the rest of my life because of it.
Yeah, well. I said it wouldn't be easy. The fact that I can't see now tells me I was right.
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
10 Things
Every once in a while, I like to "take stock" of who I am, and whether or not my actions and ambitions are remaining true to whoever that is. Lots of times, not so much. And when this happens, in order to get myself back on track, I make a list. The "lists" always have a title--"10 things I've always wanted to do but couldn't afford," or "10 things I love about NJ," etc.
It helps. Every time, it always helps.
So, in the spirit of that, let's give it a try.
Your 10 things category is:
Ten Thngs I (menaing you, not me) Know to Be True.
Annnnddddd go.......
It helps. Every time, it always helps.
So, in the spirit of that, let's give it a try.
Your 10 things category is:
Ten Thngs I (menaing you, not me) Know to Be True.
Annnnddddd go.......
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
The Secret of my Success...and other Fallacies
So, I'm at my favorite bookstore, which I have to travel to Cherry Hill for, and as usual, I become spellbound by all of the collective knowledge that is, literally, at my fingertips as I walk up and down the aisles.
I find it absolutely mind-boggling that you can be in a single structure or a building, and hold the keys to the universe if you look closely enough ( I was, coincidentally, in the space-exploration aisle).
I suppose the same could be said if you are standing in a library, but there is something about those clear plastic wrappings they put on library books that makes what is contained within seem less accessible. But, as usual, I digress.
So, there I am, walking among the aisles of knowledge and I find myself in the self-help section looking at all the titles: The Success Book, How to Succeed in Business, 7 Secrets of Successful Teens etc. All of these books, all dedicated to the notion of success. That was when it hit me--how do these books ever sell? Aren't all individual ideas of what success is dramatically different? And then, it hit me again..."I wonder what Lang kids view as definitions of success? Hmmmmmm...blog question!" And now, here we are.
So, tell me--what is YOUR definition of success?
What are the hallmarks, again, to YOU, of a successful person?
How do you judge whether or not you are successful? A
re there different levels, different measures of importance tied to levels?
What do you need to have, to own, to acquire in order to feel successful?
What types of things need to happen in order for you to see yourself as a success?
(450 words/60pts)
I find it absolutely mind-boggling that you can be in a single structure or a building, and hold the keys to the universe if you look closely enough ( I was, coincidentally, in the space-exploration aisle).
I suppose the same could be said if you are standing in a library, but there is something about those clear plastic wrappings they put on library books that makes what is contained within seem less accessible. But, as usual, I digress.
So, there I am, walking among the aisles of knowledge and I find myself in the self-help section looking at all the titles: The Success Book, How to Succeed in Business, 7 Secrets of Successful Teens etc. All of these books, all dedicated to the notion of success. That was when it hit me--how do these books ever sell? Aren't all individual ideas of what success is dramatically different? And then, it hit me again..."I wonder what Lang kids view as definitions of success? Hmmmmmm...blog question!" And now, here we are.
So, tell me--what is YOUR definition of success?
What are the hallmarks, again, to YOU, of a successful person?
How do you judge whether or not you are successful? A
re there different levels, different measures of importance tied to levels?
What do you need to have, to own, to acquire in order to feel successful?
What types of things need to happen in order for you to see yourself as a success?
(450 words/60pts)
Friday, April 21, 2017
Mental Floss
bout two years ago, I was perusing the internet, over Easter weekend, and I came across a blog I used to follow quite regularly. It says things like "practical tips for productive living," and then it goes on to list things that would be good to think about during the daily grind. It's written by an annoyingly cute couple who obviously sit around thinking philosophically on the regular. I must say, I'm a tad jealous because, frankly, I don't have the energy.
Anyway, if you're interested in the site itself, I will give you the link, but I don't want to make it seem as though I am "sponsoring" it or anything here, because, well, that's illegal.
Soo, as I was browsing around the archives, I found some cool, thought-provoking questions that left me lost inside my own head for a good 2 hours or so. There were 50 of these mind bending questions (Originally I thought there were a hundred in two 50 question blocks, but I misread it), and I am not going to list them all here, but I am going to post some of the more provocative ones.
Obviously, you don't need to write volumes on any one question--but expound on a few of the ones that really resonate with you and allow your mind to roam at will. Take your time and have some fun on the mental playground that these questions construct sort of naturally. You should answer AT LEAST 8 of them, and only 5 if you really go into detail.
From time to time, I may pop in with my own answers to some of these--feel free to engage in conversation with me, or any of your classmates during the course of this week's blog!
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? (I love this one!)
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Anyway, if you're interested in the site itself, I will give you the link, but I don't want to make it seem as though I am "sponsoring" it or anything here, because, well, that's illegal.
Soo, as I was browsing around the archives, I found some cool, thought-provoking questions that left me lost inside my own head for a good 2 hours or so. There were 50 of these mind bending questions (Originally I thought there were a hundred in two 50 question blocks, but I misread it), and I am not going to list them all here, but I am going to post some of the more provocative ones.
Obviously, you don't need to write volumes on any one question--but expound on a few of the ones that really resonate with you and allow your mind to roam at will. Take your time and have some fun on the mental playground that these questions construct sort of naturally. You should answer AT LEAST 8 of them, and only 5 if you really go into detail.
From time to time, I may pop in with my own answers to some of these--feel free to engage in conversation with me, or any of your classmates during the course of this week's blog!
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? (I love this one!)
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Monday, April 10, 2017
The Things We Leave Behind...
Well, here we are again...the LOVE blog...
With a twist.
So, here's your scenario--it's 20or so years in the future. You have 2 children, boy and girl. You may have given birth to these kids, adopted them, stolen them from bad homes like I do dogs, whatever--you have them.
Their ages are 12 and 13. Your daughter is older. Both of your kids are, of course, stunningly attractive and have each shown interest in romance (same sex/opposite sex--again, doesn't matter).
Based on your personal experiences, what do you want them to KNOW about love?
Will you tell them?
Will you let them find out on their own?
What are the most important and key pieces of information you want your kids armed with when it comes to notions and ideas about love?
How much of what you tell them will be based on your own experiences?
And finally, where did your own ideas about love come from? Do you think that had anything to do with how you feel about it now?
***PS--this blog was originally written as a story, but it wsn't working out the way I wanted it to, so...***
With a twist.
So, here's your scenario--it's 20or so years in the future. You have 2 children, boy and girl. You may have given birth to these kids, adopted them, stolen them from bad homes like I do dogs, whatever--you have them.
Their ages are 12 and 13. Your daughter is older. Both of your kids are, of course, stunningly attractive and have each shown interest in romance (same sex/opposite sex--again, doesn't matter).
Based on your personal experiences, what do you want them to KNOW about love?
Will you tell them?
Will you let them find out on their own?
What are the most important and key pieces of information you want your kids armed with when it comes to notions and ideas about love?
How much of what you tell them will be based on your own experiences?
And finally, where did your own ideas about love come from? Do you think that had anything to do with how you feel about it now?
***PS--this blog was originally written as a story, but it wsn't working out the way I wanted it to, so...***
Saturday, April 8, 2017
I Think; Therefore, I AM.
There is an old proverb that says, basically, if you cannot ask you cannot live.
Well, it sounds deeper and more profound than that but I can't think of the exact wording.
In preparation for your This I Believe presentation, which is a Bunje English assignment (that you won't actually get until May 14), vey cool, and usually fun to write, please carefully consider the questions below, and do your best to reflect and answer them as honestly as possible.
1. What am I grateful for?
2. Am I honest?
3. What do I need to change about myself?
4. Do I know what my talents are and do I utilize those talents?
5. When I help someone, do I think, "what's in it for me?"
Again, answer honestly--no one will judge you, especially me. In fact, I will answer them too.
Well, it sounds deeper and more profound than that but I can't think of the exact wording.
In preparation for your This I Believe presentation, which is a Bunje English assignment (that you won't actually get until May 14), vey cool, and usually fun to write, please carefully consider the questions below, and do your best to reflect and answer them as honestly as possible.
1. What am I grateful for?
2. Am I honest?
3. What do I need to change about myself?
4. Do I know what my talents are and do I utilize those talents?
5. When I help someone, do I think, "what's in it for me?"
Again, answer honestly--no one will judge you, especially me. In fact, I will answer them too.
Sunday, March 12, 2017
Kind Magic
Did you hold the door open for anyone today?
Did you let anyone step in front of you on your way into school, the cafeteria, a classroom?
Lend anyone a pencil, pick up a fallen book or paper?
For most of you, the answer is probably yes, you did in fact do one or more of those things. All of you are well-mannered, considerate and generally just a nice bunch of kids. So, for today, or the next 7 days as it were, let's take that one step further. This will require a bit of imagination, introspection and innovation, so again, don't sit down to this blog on Sunday night at 11pm and think you can do a respectable job on it.
Ok, so imagine, one morning, after a kindly old wizard--who bears a striking resemblance to Albus Dumbledore--visits you in your dreams, you awaken with the power to give one person anything in the entire universe. What would it be and why?
Now, that question, while startling limited in word content, is not as simple or straighforward as it seems.
I am not actually asking you to go ask someone what wish he or she would like to have granted (which seems like the obvious assumption given that I started off talking about wizards and magic); Instead, I am asking you what YOU want to give someone if you had the power to give them anything, and I am asking you to explain that choice. Additionally, because there is always an "additionally," I would also like to know what advice you would give this person after you have bestowed this "gift" upon him or her.
Did you let anyone step in front of you on your way into school, the cafeteria, a classroom?
Lend anyone a pencil, pick up a fallen book or paper?
For most of you, the answer is probably yes, you did in fact do one or more of those things. All of you are well-mannered, considerate and generally just a nice bunch of kids. So, for today, or the next 7 days as it were, let's take that one step further. This will require a bit of imagination, introspection and innovation, so again, don't sit down to this blog on Sunday night at 11pm and think you can do a respectable job on it.
Ok, so imagine, one morning, after a kindly old wizard--who bears a striking resemblance to Albus Dumbledore--visits you in your dreams, you awaken with the power to give one person anything in the entire universe. What would it be and why?
Now, that question, while startling limited in word content, is not as simple or straighforward as it seems.
I am not actually asking you to go ask someone what wish he or she would like to have granted (which seems like the obvious assumption given that I started off talking about wizards and magic); Instead, I am asking you what YOU want to give someone if you had the power to give them anything, and I am asking you to explain that choice. Additionally, because there is always an "additionally," I would also like to know what advice you would give this person after you have bestowed this "gift" upon him or her.
Thursday, March 2, 2017
Lyrical Philosophies and Identity
Your identity is unique to you. The way you view life, love, people, the world--all of that make up your personal philosophy and that's what contributes to your personal identity.
Philosophies about life and love and happiness and adventures are as vast and varied as we are as individuals. Figuring them out, deciding how you want to look at the world, and how you want the world to look at you, is an integral part of the search for identity.
Googling quotes about those things may provide a glimpse into something worth exploring, so start there if you wish, but remember--we are, for better or worse, a gang of intellectuals. And to that end, we shall explore to depths a quick glance at quotes would never allow.
Many of you use music as a gateway. To sanity, to serenity, to solace and/or to solitude. Music, to many of you, is an escape from the harsh realities of teenage life.
So, now it is also going to be a tool in which you come to a greater understanding of how you see the world, and how you see yourself. I'm trying to ruin music for you--quite the opposite, actually. I am kind of hoping you'll get a clearer understanding of why you like music that you do.
Think about all the music you love to listen to. Specifically, think about the lyrics to songs you love. Now, I want you to pick one or two songs that adequately encapsulate how you feel about life, your life. Of course, like a quote, nothing can COMPLETELY "sum up" your entire life--I understand that. But many songs, either through explicit or implied messages in lyrics, can at least provide a concrete example of either what you want out of life, what you want out love and how you want to be perceived, taken, understood etc.
So, your task this week is to tell us about a song, copy a few of the refrains/chorus/passages, and explicate their meaning(s) to you.
First, try to look at the song objectively--from a purely lang-intellectual standpoint. That is, identify metaphors or imagery, hone in on concrete and abstract language, and try to analyze how the songwriter put together the lines to tell a story.
Why does one lyric come first? Why is that the chorus? Etc.
Then talk about what the song means to you, specifically. Try to pick ones that have some depth and that will provide a deeper understanding of your innate beliefs.
Philosophies about life and love and happiness and adventures are as vast and varied as we are as individuals. Figuring them out, deciding how you want to look at the world, and how you want the world to look at you, is an integral part of the search for identity.
Googling quotes about those things may provide a glimpse into something worth exploring, so start there if you wish, but remember--we are, for better or worse, a gang of intellectuals. And to that end, we shall explore to depths a quick glance at quotes would never allow.
Many of you use music as a gateway. To sanity, to serenity, to solace and/or to solitude. Music, to many of you, is an escape from the harsh realities of teenage life.
So, now it is also going to be a tool in which you come to a greater understanding of how you see the world, and how you see yourself. I'm trying to ruin music for you--quite the opposite, actually. I am kind of hoping you'll get a clearer understanding of why you like music that you do.
Think about all the music you love to listen to. Specifically, think about the lyrics to songs you love. Now, I want you to pick one or two songs that adequately encapsulate how you feel about life, your life. Of course, like a quote, nothing can COMPLETELY "sum up" your entire life--I understand that. But many songs, either through explicit or implied messages in lyrics, can at least provide a concrete example of either what you want out of life, what you want out love and how you want to be perceived, taken, understood etc.
So, your task this week is to tell us about a song, copy a few of the refrains/chorus/passages, and explicate their meaning(s) to you.
First, try to look at the song objectively--from a purely lang-intellectual standpoint. That is, identify metaphors or imagery, hone in on concrete and abstract language, and try to analyze how the songwriter put together the lines to tell a story.
Why does one lyric come first? Why is that the chorus? Etc.
Then talk about what the song means to you, specifically. Try to pick ones that have some depth and that will provide a deeper understanding of your innate beliefs.
Monday, February 13, 2017
Speechless
Let me take you to a place you may have been countless times in your life--I know I have. Your telling someone--your best friend, significant other, parent, teacher or whatever--a story.
It's a great story, rife with vivid imagery and catchy dialogue and suspense and just...well, all the hallmarks of a great story. And then, you get to the best part, the juiciest detail, the apex of this recount that is going to knock your listener right on his or her butt, and you are trying to describe this one moment...and you can't think of the word to give that moment its due justice.
You are literally stumped for a word and you end up going with some lame synonym that pops into your head (probably from Bunje's damn SAT Vocab list) but you know that your story falls flat because that was SO not the word you wanted. Ever happen to you? Why, do you think?
Well, I have a theory. It's in its nascent stages, but a theory nonetheless. I have procured said theory by perusing ( a word that does not mean what many of you think it means, incidentally) The Global Language Monitor. You all thought I was the world's hugest dork when I told you about it!
Remember how many words we now have? Forgot? Go here: http://www.languagemonitor.com/global-english/no-of-words/
This site is dedicated to tracking trends in language, specifically the English language, and it is chock full of all kinds of fascinating facts about word etymologies, global trends, colloquialisms etc. It's really cool, especially if you're a geek like me (and many of you are--don't even try to front).
Anyway, it was while I was on this site that my theory began to crystallize about why we, at the worst possible moments, are suddenly at a loss for words.
BTW--Know what the millionth word was?? "Octomom." Such a disappointment. Which is just one more idea proving that pop culture is the crux of societal knowledge. (If the blog had emojis, I'd put the one that looks like it is contemplating something, here)
Anyway, 1,000,000 is a pretty impressive number by any standard, especially when you consider that the French Language has fewer than 100,000 words total. The average human has approximately 14,000 words in his or her repertoire. Shakespeare had 24,000--1,700 of which he made up--floating around his brilliant brain. Man, I love that guy.
So, all this to say..what? Well, even with all of those words zooming through the ether, the bottom line is there is sometimes no word to describe, define, pinpoint or whatever, the "undefinable." That's why we can't finish the story in the scenario I mentioned earlier. Undefinable words usually fall into one of three categories: feelings, abstract concepts and phenomena.
When I say feelings, I mean like, that sensation that washes over you the first warm day after a long, cold winter when you are driving in a car with all the windows down and radio tuned into your favorite song. Or, the feeling you get when you just get your crush's phone number and you're staring at your cell phone, sweating, pacing, wondering if you should start to text.
Occasionally, mixed in with feelings are some abstract concepts, like the idea of strength, character, courage etc.
And I know we have all experiences some weird phenomena-type occurrences that we write off as "coincidence" which is a catch-all word that doesn't really encapsulate the notion that, for example, when someone you know gets pregnant suddenly all you see are pregnant women or maternity stores or baby paraphernalia. Or, when you buy a new car you begin to notice that there are 4 of that same car within a mile of your house.
All of these things and so many more, despite the much-vaunted number the GLM is broadcasting about the English Language, simply do not have a word that really captures the essence of their true meaning.
That is, until this blog.
Your task this week, Langers, is to put a word to those notions, concepts, feelings and/or phenomena. So, first I want you to think of one of those moments--the feelings, concepts or phenomena that you personally have experienced. Then, I would like you to talk about the "synonym" that would closely describe it, even though you know in your heart that synonym doesn't do it justice. Then, in a whimsical fit of language acquisition, I want you to MAKE UP a word that would better describe what you're talking about. Hell, if Mary Poppins can do it, why can't we? :)
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
The Things We Leave Behind
In Buddhism, HH (which stands for His Holiness),the 14th Dalai Lama once said, "The creatures that inhabit this earth-be they human beings or animals-are here to contribute, each in its own particular way, to the beauty and prosperity of the world."
I am not sure where I heard or read that, most likely in a liturgy at a Temple I used to attend, or any one of a thousand (hyperbole) books on HH, but I think about that particular notion quite a bit. It goes along the same lines as that age-old query, "Why am I here?" I suppose, but when I think of my contributions to the world and what I can do to be a part of the sum total of beauty and prosperity, only two things ever come to mind.
One, of course, is you. Collectively.
I teach. That's something I can do because in so doing, I am afforded the opportunity to, hopefully, broaden minds and open hearts, which will in turn allow you to do the same things with whomever is lucky enough to come in contact with you as you dance through your time on Earth.
What do you do?
What will you do?
Do you believe in HH's idea about contribution?
Does it make sense but seem impossible?
Does it seem like a bunch of nonsense?
What has been your greatest contribution so far?
Don't say nothing or start wailing, "I'm only a teenager--I haven't done anything yet!" because that is a total cop-out. Think about all the people you have known, both superficially and deeply, and imagine how many more you have impacted in ways you might not even know yet. Maybe it's a friend, a sibling, a stranger on the street. Things that you may not even think twice about doing or saying can have an impact that changes someone's life forever. That's chilling and exhilarating and awe-inspring concept.
So, what do you think will your legacy be? And more importantly, what do you WANT it to be?
I am not sure where I heard or read that, most likely in a liturgy at a Temple I used to attend, or any one of a thousand (hyperbole) books on HH, but I think about that particular notion quite a bit. It goes along the same lines as that age-old query, "Why am I here?" I suppose, but when I think of my contributions to the world and what I can do to be a part of the sum total of beauty and prosperity, only two things ever come to mind.
One, of course, is you. Collectively.
I teach. That's something I can do because in so doing, I am afforded the opportunity to, hopefully, broaden minds and open hearts, which will in turn allow you to do the same things with whomever is lucky enough to come in contact with you as you dance through your time on Earth.
What do you do?
What will you do?
Do you believe in HH's idea about contribution?
Does it make sense but seem impossible?
Does it seem like a bunch of nonsense?
What has been your greatest contribution so far?
Don't say nothing or start wailing, "I'm only a teenager--I haven't done anything yet!" because that is a total cop-out. Think about all the people you have known, both superficially and deeply, and imagine how many more you have impacted in ways you might not even know yet. Maybe it's a friend, a sibling, a stranger on the street. Things that you may not even think twice about doing or saying can have an impact that changes someone's life forever. That's chilling and exhilarating and awe-inspring concept.
So, what do you think will your legacy be? And more importantly, what do you WANT it to be?
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
World Views and other Scenes from a Teenage Perspective
Genuine tragedies in the world are not conflicts between right and wrong. They are conflicts between two rights. ~Georg Hegel
The other day, I had a conversation with an old friend from college. It was more of a spirited debate, actually, about the nature of good and evil, right and wrong etc. My world view, will, I'm quite sure, be of no surprise to you--I believe "good" is a matter of perspective and convenience, and that "right" is determined by whoever has "the bigger gun" so to speak. (This is not a political world-view--meaning, regardless of the politics of the times, I always think this way).
I don't know if I am right about this, but it seems to me that the good people of the world outweigh the bad. My perspective on this rarely shifts, and is also reinforced when tragedies such as the one in Newtown, Connecticut, or Ferguson, MO, or San Bernardino, CA, or Berlin Germany, Nice, France (I could go on but why depress us all further) occur. I believe it is an objectively unfair universe we inhabit, although I have a hunch it has a way of righting its ownself from time to time.
So the debate between my friend and I ensued.
My friend's world view was quite a bit different than mine--much more idealistic and much more indicative of his personality. In his eyes, my friend (his name is Ahmed) is certain that good always conquers evil, the meek shall inherit the Earth, all you need is love etc etc etc. He goes on to posit that good things come to good people and eventually, all the pieces will fall into place if you live a good life. Seriously, that's really what he believes. He's a really sweet guy--it boggles me.
(I keep him around, this college buddy, because he gives me hope, and when I am feeling way too misanthropic and cynical for my own good, he gives me balance. All of the other times I mock him shamelessly for his "dreamy" and (what I consider to be) unrealistic view of the world).
So, my question(s) for you this week is--where in our spectrum does your world view fall? Do you think people are mostly bad or mostly good? What determines that? Do you think that the person who does the right thing always wins? If so, what's the prize? Are there clear-cut answers about what's right and what's wrong? How is it all measured? Let's get a little Lang-y and tell a story (real or metaphorical--no matter) to illustrate/exemplify your points. Try to think of an example about which you feel passionately. It is usually passion that dictates what your true beliefs are. However, when we use passion to describe or talk about them, we run the risk of sounding like we can't be taken seriously. So, try to temper your passion (your pathos) with your logic (your logos).
The other day, I had a conversation with an old friend from college. It was more of a spirited debate, actually, about the nature of good and evil, right and wrong etc. My world view, will, I'm quite sure, be of no surprise to you--I believe "good" is a matter of perspective and convenience, and that "right" is determined by whoever has "the bigger gun" so to speak. (This is not a political world-view--meaning, regardless of the politics of the times, I always think this way).
I don't know if I am right about this, but it seems to me that the good people of the world outweigh the bad. My perspective on this rarely shifts, and is also reinforced when tragedies such as the one in Newtown, Connecticut, or Ferguson, MO, or San Bernardino, CA, or Berlin Germany, Nice, France (I could go on but why depress us all further) occur. I believe it is an objectively unfair universe we inhabit, although I have a hunch it has a way of righting its ownself from time to time.
So the debate between my friend and I ensued.
My friend's world view was quite a bit different than mine--much more idealistic and much more indicative of his personality. In his eyes, my friend (his name is Ahmed) is certain that good always conquers evil, the meek shall inherit the Earth, all you need is love etc etc etc. He goes on to posit that good things come to good people and eventually, all the pieces will fall into place if you live a good life. Seriously, that's really what he believes. He's a really sweet guy--it boggles me.
(I keep him around, this college buddy, because he gives me hope, and when I am feeling way too misanthropic and cynical for my own good, he gives me balance. All of the other times I mock him shamelessly for his "dreamy" and (what I consider to be) unrealistic view of the world).
So, my question(s) for you this week is--where in our spectrum does your world view fall? Do you think people are mostly bad or mostly good? What determines that? Do you think that the person who does the right thing always wins? If so, what's the prize? Are there clear-cut answers about what's right and what's wrong? How is it all measured? Let's get a little Lang-y and tell a story (real or metaphorical--no matter) to illustrate/exemplify your points. Try to think of an example about which you feel passionately. It is usually passion that dictates what your true beliefs are. However, when we use passion to describe or talk about them, we run the risk of sounding like we can't be taken seriously. So, try to temper your passion (your pathos) with your logic (your logos).
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Last Guys Don't Finish Nice
I am a Robert Greene fan. If you have no idea who that is, look him up here: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2012/dec/03/robert-greene-48-laws-of-power
That book he talks about? I have that one. And 4 of his others. People's opinions of him vary--some think he is a psychopath, some credit him as being the most brilliant strategists since Sun Tsu. Both are extreme impressions and I dislike eveything about extremism, so it is unlikely any of these reviews sway my opinion of the man. But, he's a smart guy and he gets people. So, he makes my list of influential authors. In many ways, we are very like-minded, Greene and I. We share many of the same opinions on people, on relationships, on power and the power of power.
I guess his outlook could best be described as pessimistically real. So, I suppose that makes him a pessimistic realist.
The following quote may be a tangible example of that theory:
"Niceness is a decision. It is a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait." --Robert Greene
So, dive right in. Forget about what anyone will think or say. Be as honest as you can when you consider and answer the question: Is Robert Greene correct about his assertion regarding niceness?
Include explanations, examples, proof etc.
That book he talks about? I have that one. And 4 of his others. People's opinions of him vary--some think he is a psychopath, some credit him as being the most brilliant strategists since Sun Tsu. Both are extreme impressions and I dislike eveything about extremism, so it is unlikely any of these reviews sway my opinion of the man. But, he's a smart guy and he gets people. So, he makes my list of influential authors. In many ways, we are very like-minded, Greene and I. We share many of the same opinions on people, on relationships, on power and the power of power.
I guess his outlook could best be described as pessimistically real. So, I suppose that makes him a pessimistic realist.
The following quote may be a tangible example of that theory:
"Niceness is a decision. It is a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait." --Robert Greene
So, dive right in. Forget about what anyone will think or say. Be as honest as you can when you consider and answer the question: Is Robert Greene correct about his assertion regarding niceness?
Include explanations, examples, proof etc.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
The Winds of Change
On January 20, the 45th President of the United
States will be sworn in, and approximately 6 billion people globally will watch
it happen. And there are some who won’t.
But, that won’t stop it from happening.
That seems to be the thing about life—when we least expect it, when we’re
not ready for it, when we think we need more time—it happens. Life, that is.
So, no matter what side you are or were on during the past 15 months of the
election debacle, here we are.
Tensions are high; you don’t have to be an expert in
emotional intelligence to recognize that some people are dealing with the
upcoming inauguration in very different ways, and those ways don’t often
reflect the views of their friends, family members or maybe even general
society. This often creates even more
tension. So, let’s try to take the
anxiety down a notch. Let’s try to
remember that at the end of the day, most people try to be decent citizens and
quality humans. Let’s try to extend
kindness to one another so that kindness becomes the norm, rather than the
exception. Let’s all remember who we
are.
To do that, maybe we should take a look at some of those who
came before us. Let’s look at someone
who dared to stare down the hostility and degradation of racism not with the arrogance
of a pointed finger and a rolled eye, but with the kindness of a smile and a
soothing word or two. It seems fitting
now, one day passed, to talk about MLK and what he stood for then, as well as
what his legacy stands for now.
You all know the “I Have a Dream” speech, and you all know
that it is a rhetorical masterpiece, ripe with all the devices and strategies
that good literature is famous for, but what it also is is one man’s blueprint
for his own American Dream. 54 years
ago, Dr. King delivered that speech about his dream of equality. In some ways, the world is a very different
place now than it was then. However,
there are some who would say it is not nearly as different as it should be.
So, your challenge this week is to carefully consider the
upcoming National event of the inauguration and what that means to people, as
well as think about the state of the world you currently inhabit. If Dr. King were alive today, do you think
his dream would be different? How so? If you think it would be the same, how come?
What is your own dream about the future of the world? Construct your own “I
Have a Dream…” and show me how you conceive of the American dream. What kind of impact will the next four years have
on that dream?
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
"Everything has Beauty, but Not Everybody Sees It"--Confucius
It has never really bothered me, (much), but, I have never been called "beautiful," so that word has always held for me a foundation of unattainability, and therefore, mystery. Kind of makes me wonder--What makes something--or someone--full of beauty?
The great and powerful Sophia Loren once said, "True beauty is a mirage." True beauty? What IS that, anyway? In your mind, what is "true beauty?"
Myself, I am awed by things of beauty, no matter what--or who--they might be (Johnny Depp...ahem…sunsets...butterflies...puppies...creme brulee).
This week, I would like you to muse with me about this concept. Over time, across cultures, the mystery of beauty has both vexed and captivated all walks of life. The animal kingdom even has its own notion of what makes them attractive—peacocks fluff their plumage, ducks wiggle their butts, all in the name of beauty. They do it to attract mates--is that why we do?
Do we chase beauty? Do we worship it? Are beautiful people treated differently that those considered less so?
Men and women have been frustrated and fascinated by beauty, have been rendered powerless in their attempts to capture it, bottle it, enhance it, ignore it, use it and celebrate it. WHY?? Why do you think human beings are so enthralled with the idea of trying to capture "beauty?" (this is kinda the same question as the one earlier, but as you can see, I feel strongly about this.)
Why? Its importance and its role in our lives will be the subject of this blog discussion, and I would like you to seriously consider what your definition of “true beauty” is. Why is beauty the object of both admiration and envy? Why does the pursuit of beauty bring us pain as well as pleasure? Consider both sexes when you ask yourself these questions—think about the pursuit, the pain, the pleasure from all angles.
Do you see yourself as beautiful? How do you measure it? Who is the most beautiful person you know? Why?
The great and powerful Sophia Loren once said, "True beauty is a mirage." True beauty? What IS that, anyway? In your mind, what is "true beauty?"
Myself, I am awed by things of beauty, no matter what--or who--they might be (Johnny Depp...ahem…sunsets...butterflies...puppies...creme brulee).
This week, I would like you to muse with me about this concept. Over time, across cultures, the mystery of beauty has both vexed and captivated all walks of life. The animal kingdom even has its own notion of what makes them attractive—peacocks fluff their plumage, ducks wiggle their butts, all in the name of beauty. They do it to attract mates--is that why we do?
Do we chase beauty? Do we worship it? Are beautiful people treated differently that those considered less so?
Men and women have been frustrated and fascinated by beauty, have been rendered powerless in their attempts to capture it, bottle it, enhance it, ignore it, use it and celebrate it. WHY?? Why do you think human beings are so enthralled with the idea of trying to capture "beauty?" (this is kinda the same question as the one earlier, but as you can see, I feel strongly about this.)
Why? Its importance and its role in our lives will be the subject of this blog discussion, and I would like you to seriously consider what your definition of “true beauty” is. Why is beauty the object of both admiration and envy? Why does the pursuit of beauty bring us pain as well as pleasure? Consider both sexes when you ask yourself these questions—think about the pursuit, the pain, the pleasure from all angles.
Do you see yourself as beautiful? How do you measure it? Who is the most beautiful person you know? Why?
Monday, January 2, 2017
New Beginnings
Whew. So, it's over. 2016--the year of...well, there are really too many adjectives, verbs and hyperbolic phrases that could be inserted there, so that's where I think we should start.
I am a huge fan of moving forward--I don't even like to put my car in reverse if I can help it--true story--but I also recognize the value of taking a backward glance from time to time. I mean, how else can you see:
1) how far you've gone
2) how much you've left to go
3) where the twists, turns and pot holes in the roads were
Now, for me, of all of those, #3 means the most. Like I said, I am a fan of moving forward, but most of the time, the natural enemy to forward thinking or really any kind of positive progression, is repetition. The repetition of a mistake is the most obvious deterrant to progression because it usually means going backward, but even repeating things that worked out for you can be detrimental to progress because it could mean that you are comfortable and not taking any more risks, and then, consequently, you can't "really" progress. Personally, I like to see where things went bananas for me, or where I made a wrong turn, or how taking the shortcut would've helped me had I only listened to someone else.
So, usually right around now, I allow me the time I need to take stock of my personal and professional situations.
I should do this more often than just the start of a new year, I know this, but something about the symbolism of starting at 1 just speaks to me, so here I am.
What I noticed I did way too much last year was to let things that were either out of my control, or not really fixable in the first place, define who I was. As a result, I spent too much of 2016 feeling like a colossal failure. Thus, for 2017, I have decided to form BOTH an interpretation and a life plan from something I read by accident over break. It was a quote from a long-dead German author named Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (that G name is actually pronounced "Gert-A), and it states: "Things that matter most should never be at the mercy of things that matter least."
I am trying to find a sign that says that, but so far, no luck.
Now, its your turn.
First--I want you to fill in that sentence I started at the beginning: "2016--the year of ____________". Explain your choice.
Second, of the three reasons I listed for why looking back is good, which one do you see the most value in and why? Explain in detail.
Finally, moving forward in whatever area of life you want to focus on, how would you like to proceed that is AT LEAST marginally different then whatever you did last year?
I am a huge fan of moving forward--I don't even like to put my car in reverse if I can help it--true story--but I also recognize the value of taking a backward glance from time to time. I mean, how else can you see:
1) how far you've gone
2) how much you've left to go
3) where the twists, turns and pot holes in the roads were
Now, for me, of all of those, #3 means the most. Like I said, I am a fan of moving forward, but most of the time, the natural enemy to forward thinking or really any kind of positive progression, is repetition. The repetition of a mistake is the most obvious deterrant to progression because it usually means going backward, but even repeating things that worked out for you can be detrimental to progress because it could mean that you are comfortable and not taking any more risks, and then, consequently, you can't "really" progress. Personally, I like to see where things went bananas for me, or where I made a wrong turn, or how taking the shortcut would've helped me had I only listened to someone else.
So, usually right around now, I allow me the time I need to take stock of my personal and professional situations.
I should do this more often than just the start of a new year, I know this, but something about the symbolism of starting at 1 just speaks to me, so here I am.
What I noticed I did way too much last year was to let things that were either out of my control, or not really fixable in the first place, define who I was. As a result, I spent too much of 2016 feeling like a colossal failure. Thus, for 2017, I have decided to form BOTH an interpretation and a life plan from something I read by accident over break. It was a quote from a long-dead German author named Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (that G name is actually pronounced "Gert-A), and it states: "Things that matter most should never be at the mercy of things that matter least."
I am trying to find a sign that says that, but so far, no luck.
Now, its your turn.
First--I want you to fill in that sentence I started at the beginning: "2016--the year of ____________". Explain your choice.
Second, of the three reasons I listed for why looking back is good, which one do you see the most value in and why? Explain in detail.
Finally, moving forward in whatever area of life you want to focus on, how would you like to proceed that is AT LEAST marginally different then whatever you did last year?
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