From time to time, when tensions are high or I can sense a pervading uneasy energy circling me in some way, I do a little meditative exercise. Usually, it is a visualization or relaxation ritual--something easy to refocus my mind. It is similar to Sar's and the one she did with the clouds, but a little different.
So, as a means to, perhaps, prepare you for the unforeseen stressful events in your own life, this week's blog will have you contemplating your "happy place" either real or metaphorical or imaginary. Please answer the following questions:
Where do you like to go to escape from the pressures of your life? (It doesn't have to be a real place).
What is your best childhood memory? Describe it in detail.
Where and when do you feel your absolute best? Why?
What is the most soothing sound you can imagine?
Which colors affect your mood the most? How do those colors affect it?
When during the day do you feel the most at ease? Why? What is it about that time of day that provides comfort?
Relax while you're writing this--please don't start at 11:45 on Thursday night and rush forward trying to get it in under the wire--that would really defeat the purpose.
Remember to breathe...
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Monday, May 22, 2017
The Things I never Said...
And oh, how that list has grown over the years.
What about you?
We talked a lot last week about love and relationships--listening to what some of you think about this topic was equal parts eye-opening and heart-breaking.
That you have hurt to the levels you have fills me with a sense of sorrow, frustration, and yes, even anger. In some cases I know the people who hurt you and that makes things...messy, but has zero impact on my ability to see you and that other person separately. The anger mostly stems from my own inability to help rather than anything else.
In any case, after our very robust and resounding discussions, I started to think about the levels of despair, anger, uneasiness etc that some situations seem to bring up in people. I began to realize that a lot of what some of you are feeling might be the result of what I like to call "residual reconsiderations"--which basically just means that leftover nagging feeling you have when you feel like there is something you needed to say, but didnt think you needed to until you lost the opportunity.
Well, my lovely Langer lemurs (yeah...that was my desperation for alliteration...), I am all about trying to reclaim lost opportunities.
So, here in our spot, where you will be safe--you can have back that lost opportunity to say the thing you never said..to whoever you need to say it to. Could be a friend, an ex, a parent, a teacher, a coach, or even yourself. Never underestimate the value of finding your words.
I'll go first. And it won't be easy. But, the important stuff--it never is.
To the boy from the beach, all those years ago:
The first day you talked to me felt the longest day of the year. I replayed that conversation endlessly and I am pretty sure I did not sleep a single second of that night because I didn't want to forget anything.
I tell you this now because I didn't put it in our wedding vows. I wanted to. But I couldn't. It was too hard because the boy from the beach wasn't the same person as the one standing at the end of the aisle, and on that day, in that moment, I didn't want to remember that I was marrying the person who wasn't THE person anymore. That didn't fit the narrative of the day. So, I said nothing. Just like I did for about 5 of the 13 years leading up to that day.
I am sorry I didn't talk more. I am sorry I didn't let you see how sad I was. I am sorry that you lost the ability to see it for yourself, even though I thought you were the only one who ever had that wizard-like vision that could really SEE me. Or maybe you could, but my disguise was just...that good.
Some things don't really make sense. Some things just ARE. We were one of those things. And, we will continue to be, even if you never choose to look again. You are my past, and ever-present in my day to day existence. Most of what I am, I learned from you--good and bad. I love you for that, and for many more things too dumb to mention. Thank you, Corey. For being my greatest champion, my toughest critic, and my safe harbor from storms to dangerous to navigate on my own. You taught me well, and I will love you for the rest of my life because of it.
Yeah, well. I said it wouldn't be easy. The fact that I can't see now tells me I was right.
What about you?
We talked a lot last week about love and relationships--listening to what some of you think about this topic was equal parts eye-opening and heart-breaking.
That you have hurt to the levels you have fills me with a sense of sorrow, frustration, and yes, even anger. In some cases I know the people who hurt you and that makes things...messy, but has zero impact on my ability to see you and that other person separately. The anger mostly stems from my own inability to help rather than anything else.
In any case, after our very robust and resounding discussions, I started to think about the levels of despair, anger, uneasiness etc that some situations seem to bring up in people. I began to realize that a lot of what some of you are feeling might be the result of what I like to call "residual reconsiderations"--which basically just means that leftover nagging feeling you have when you feel like there is something you needed to say, but didnt think you needed to until you lost the opportunity.
Well, my lovely Langer lemurs (yeah...that was my desperation for alliteration...), I am all about trying to reclaim lost opportunities.
So, here in our spot, where you will be safe--you can have back that lost opportunity to say the thing you never said..to whoever you need to say it to. Could be a friend, an ex, a parent, a teacher, a coach, or even yourself. Never underestimate the value of finding your words.
I'll go first. And it won't be easy. But, the important stuff--it never is.
To the boy from the beach, all those years ago:
The first day you talked to me felt the longest day of the year. I replayed that conversation endlessly and I am pretty sure I did not sleep a single second of that night because I didn't want to forget anything.
I tell you this now because I didn't put it in our wedding vows. I wanted to. But I couldn't. It was too hard because the boy from the beach wasn't the same person as the one standing at the end of the aisle, and on that day, in that moment, I didn't want to remember that I was marrying the person who wasn't THE person anymore. That didn't fit the narrative of the day. So, I said nothing. Just like I did for about 5 of the 13 years leading up to that day.
I am sorry I didn't talk more. I am sorry I didn't let you see how sad I was. I am sorry that you lost the ability to see it for yourself, even though I thought you were the only one who ever had that wizard-like vision that could really SEE me. Or maybe you could, but my disguise was just...that good.
Some things don't really make sense. Some things just ARE. We were one of those things. And, we will continue to be, even if you never choose to look again. You are my past, and ever-present in my day to day existence. Most of what I am, I learned from you--good and bad. I love you for that, and for many more things too dumb to mention. Thank you, Corey. For being my greatest champion, my toughest critic, and my safe harbor from storms to dangerous to navigate on my own. You taught me well, and I will love you for the rest of my life because of it.
Yeah, well. I said it wouldn't be easy. The fact that I can't see now tells me I was right.
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
10 Things
Every once in a while, I like to "take stock" of who I am, and whether or not my actions and ambitions are remaining true to whoever that is. Lots of times, not so much. And when this happens, in order to get myself back on track, I make a list. The "lists" always have a title--"10 things I've always wanted to do but couldn't afford," or "10 things I love about NJ," etc.
It helps. Every time, it always helps.
So, in the spirit of that, let's give it a try.
Your 10 things category is:
Ten Thngs I (menaing you, not me) Know to Be True.
Annnnddddd go.......
It helps. Every time, it always helps.
So, in the spirit of that, let's give it a try.
Your 10 things category is:
Ten Thngs I (menaing you, not me) Know to Be True.
Annnnddddd go.......
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