I love words.
Good thing I suppose, given my chosen and hard-fought-for occupation. Every time I sit down at a keyboard or have a pen poised over a blank sheet of paper, I feel overwhelmed with excitement, with possibility, with anticipation. With a few key strokes or swipes of a pen, you can find the right combination of words that can make someone LOVE you.
Conversely, you can break a heart, manipulate a mind or sever an allegiance…all with those same strokes or swipes. Think about that. Legends are immortalized because of words. Nations go to war over words. Couples are united in matrimony with words. Hearts and lives are shattered due to words. The power they wield is, in a word, awesome.
“Every time I come around the corner and see your car in the driveway I get sick to my stomach.”
I sat on the couch during yet another face-off with my mother when she let fly with that condemnation, effectively shattering any sense of comfort and belonging I may have been clinging to at the time. I was 17. I’m 46 now, and I can hear those words in my ear as clear as if they were uttered 10 minutes ago. I can’t say that it was those exact words that led to the eventual, unsurprising demise of my relationship with my mother, but I know it was certainly a huge chunk out of the already crumbling foundation. It stands, to this day, as one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me.
But, as I said, words are powerful. They have healing properties. Let me give you a scenario. I was visiting a friend at what is now, TCNJ (back then it was Trenton State College). My boyfriend of about a year had just broken up with me, quite unceremoniously, at a party the night before. I was feeling kind of blue, just sort of moping around the campus waiting for my friend’s class to end. While aimlessly wandering through the bookstore, I saw an old friend from high school, a guy who graduated a year ahead of me. We got to talking about life after high school and what my plans were and all of that idle small talk, when he looked me right in the eye and said, “Well Cass, the thing is, I hear you’re an excellent writer.”
What followed is not a Cinderella-like ending of fairytale romance (this is me we’re talking about) between Matt Opacity (that was his name--Opcaity. Sounds like something other than a name, but I don't know what) and your Lang teacher. We didn’t fall into each other’s arms and swear undying love—it wasn’t even a romantic moment. He wasn’t trying out a brand-new pick-up line or even trying to soothe my bruised, dumped ego. It was a simple declaration that I am quite sure he would never even remember saying all these years later. But it’s impact on me was and is undeniable. Because of him, when I went back home, the first place I looked for a summer job was at a local newspaper called The Sandpaper. I landed a job as a stringer and at the tender age of 18, got my first ever piece of writing published. I even got paid for it! (It was an article on Tonkinese cats—don’t laugh!) Such is the power and the beauty of words.
So, that is the focus of this week’s blog question. I would like you to think about conversations you have had, arguments in which you’ve been embroiled, moments of bliss you have experienced. They all have one thing in common—WORDS.
The Yin: What is the worst thing anyone has ever said to you? Why do you think it was the worst thing? How did it make you feel?
And for the Yang (because there always is one): What was the best compliment you have ever received?
Who said it? Why do you think was it was the best compliment?
And finally, perhaps even MOST IMPORTANTLY, reflect on the fact that you highlighted these two particular comments. What do you think your choices of what was the best and worst thing anyone could say about/to you reveal about your personality? Much to think about, I know. Don’t delay!!
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ReplyDeleteThe Yin: The worst thing someone said to me was that my mom was stupid. I was a little girl, maybe about 8 or 9 years old, and I was hanging out with my older cousin, simply because I looked up to her at the time. My cousin was on the phone with my mom, and they were throwing around ideas for what to have for lunch. As soon as they hung up, my cousin felt the need to call her names right in front of me! I truly believe this was the worst thing someone has said to me because my mom wasn’t there to defend herself. My mom and I always joked around and called each other “dummy” or “silly” when we did something by accident, but it is a completely different story when someone else insults my family. I was so angry, and I honestly still am even after about 9 years later.
ReplyDeleteThe Yang: Multiple people have told me how smart I am. They say that they wish they could switch brains with me. It is always very endearing hearing that compliment. I don’t put a lot of effort into dressing up for school, the main reason being that I don’t get much sleep so every minute in the morning counts. I don’t apply heat to my hair because I value healthy hair, not dead ends. I don’t usually talk to a lot of people because I’m content with studying for the next test or reading. My point is, I don’t put a lot of effort into myself every time I leave the house, simply because that isn’t something I value.
I picked the Yin that I did because my family means a lot to me. They are my weak spot. I can’t stand when people talk down on them, and I refuse to let it happen again. I get more hurt when people say mean things about my family more than I do when they say mean things about me. I have learned to brush it off because it just doesn’t affect me anymore. I don’t let it.
I picked the Yang that I did because it makes me happy when my intelligence is acknowledged. I value brilliance over substance. Of course I appreciate compliments regarding my outfits or hair, but beauty is temporary. My hair will turn gray, my face will get wrinkles, my teeth will fall out, and I won’t be able to wear anything besides night gowns. So, I choose to invest in something that will hopefully last me a lifetime: my brain.
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ReplyDeleteYin: The worst thing someone's ever said to me? The worst thing someone has ever said to me would probably be that I don’t stand a chance making it into the “college of my dreams,” or any of my other selected colleges, that I simply won’t really “make it” as a music major. I’m taking it back to freshman year, as “who shall not be named” was talking to me about what I want to be and where I want to become it.
Ever since music entered my life eight years ago I always knew I wanted to be a music major. I want to major in music education to fulfill students with such a passion for music, to create a love for it as great as mine. I want to make a difference in lives with music the way mine was altered in such a fortunate way. I even had thoughts (still do) about getting a degree in business to start my own for under-privileged children to learn how to play musical instruments. My dream college is Juilliard and forever will be. I had a whole list of colleges I wanted to apply to, ones with phenomenal music programs.
I was told that I would never make it into any of these colleges and that I probably won’t be successful as a music major. This was the worst thing ever said to me because I love to play music it basically crushed my dreams. The person who said it “knows” what they’re talking about, if that makes sense. It didn’t make me that upset, I was more baffled and furious than anything. How could someone just say that to me as a freshman who has their heart set on music? It made me want to slam a door in their face and never talk to them again. It made me try even harder than I already was, because I’m going to be a music major, I’m going to be better than them, and I’m going to prove them wrong.
Yang: The best thing ever said to me without a doubt would have to be “Julianna, your dad would be so proud of you.” There’s not really a specific person who’s said this to me because multiple people have. After an audition, marching band competition, band concert, etc. An example being a little over a month ago my grandparents came over for dinner. My mom had sent them previous videos of the marching band show at competitions. My grandmother, after telling me how much she liked the show, leaned over to me and whispered “Dad would be so proud of you,” with the biggest, most contagious smile on her face. People tell me that my dad is looking down on me and smiling and that he’s so proud. This is the best compliment I could ever receive because my biggest goal I have in life is to make him proud of me. Everyday, I strive to be just like him. And to know that he’s proud, or that others think he would be is so heartwarming it almost brings a tear to my eye. Knowing that your hero and inspiration is proud of the person you’re becoming.
Both of these things, I feel, combine to reveal something about my personality. That I’m filled with perseverance, I will never give up. Just because I was told that I’ll never make it in music doesn’t mean I’m going to quit. That only made me want to do it more, and I will. And I could never give up, my dad would be so disappointed if I let something like that drive me to just “give up.” I don’t ever want to feel like my dad is disappointed in me.
“You’re an idiot”
ReplyDeleteWhoever decides to read this other than Bunje, I can guarantee that you’ve all been called an idiot once, twice, or maybe even a few hundred times by your friends. It hurts a lot though when it comes from one of your teachers. I was in seventh grade, and my math teacher bluntly told me I was an idiot in front of my classmates. I knew it though.. I’ve never considered myself to be very “school smart”, but hearing it from someone else’s mouth triggered such strong emotions from me, especially when it’s someone who’s supposed to help you academically. More than anything else, I was feeling extremely embarrassed; I mean he did say it for the entire class to hear. I consider it to be one of the worst things mainly because it was something that I used to bring myself down over, but also because it was proof that I wasn’t the only person who didn’t believe in me when it came to schoolwork/grades.
Although I don’t have a direct quote from one of best things ever said to me, I have been told multiple times that I give really good advice. It’s nice to know that someone valued what I said to them, and in some way incorporated it into their lives to make them feel even the smallest bit better. I always try to be there for anyone that needs me,and being told that I’m good at doing so, is an amazing feeling.
I ended up choosing these specific comments because one ended up teaching me a major lesson, and the other just simply makes me feel good about myself. Just from reading this, I think people can conclude that I once was very insecure in my abilities as a student, which isn’t really the case anymore. And, that I’m a very helpful person, who genuinely enjoys helping out, and being there for people.
Yin: “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again”
ReplyDeleteDon’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that apologies are something negative. I understand that they are essential for forgiveness and all that kind of stuff. I allow my stubborn, hard-to-forgive brain accept apologies just as much as anyone else would. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s the worst phrase that I could ever hear. And here’s what I mean…Let me explain myself…
When he said “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again” to me, I was overwhelmed with every emotion but forgiveness. I was angry, frustrated, regretful. Not because he was apologizing, but because of what was making him apologize. Hearing those words did nothing but validify the ass he was. Him saying “I’m sorry” did nothing but clarify that he did what he did and it was done. Doing something as bad as he did and then apologizing for it as if it was okay and as if he deserved my forgiveness ruined the meaning of an apology for me. Because if he didn’t do what he did in the first place, he wouldn’t have needed to apologize. I never expected to hear those words come out of his mouth because I never expected him to do something worth apologizing over. A phrase that carries the concept of forgiveness and the repairing of relationships turned into the worst thing that anyone could ever tell me. Under any circumstance, not just my example I explained above, "I'm sorry" is just a reminder that what was done or said shouldn't have been done or said, which makes me hate to hear those words. Since I chose this phrase as the worst thing that anyone has/can say to me, I think you can all infer that I'm very stubborn and not swayed with emotion. My stubbornness prevents me from forgiving easily.
Yang: For my 16th birthday someone I know gave me a jar full of color-coded folded papers. On the red paper there were memories and moments, on the pink paper were quotes/lyrics, on the orange was things that we would only understand, and on the yellow was the reasons why she loved me. Although all the little pieces of paper hold a special place in my heart, one piece of paper I will never in my lifetime forget because it was the best thing anyone has ever said to me. The words “you’re the strongest person I know” are written on a tiny, folded up, yellow piece of paper. The reason as to why those 6 words are the first 6 words in my mind every single morning is unknown, because sometimes I even doubt my strength. But knowing that at one point in someone’s life I was the strongest figure is enough to make me feel all warm inside everytime I remind myself of that little yellow piece of paper. Hearing that phrase made me reflect on my abilities to put a smile on my face after everything that I’ve been through and it presented me with a whole new level of respect for myself and I will forever be grateful for that. Given the fact that I chose this comment as the best thing anyone has ever said to me, I think I can say that I choose to be complimented on my inner qualities rather than my outer ones; I don’t want my strength to go unnoticed and I want people to understand that whatever you’re going through WILL get better if you keep pushing.
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ReplyDeleteNo one will ever want you, you're just a terrible, disgusting person." These words were by far the worst words ever said to me. My sister has probably said these words to me a million times, which is why I can't think back to one specific account to write about.
ReplyDeleteMy sister is very talented. She has the ability to make me feel small no matter what the situation is at hand.
I shrug my shoulders, I roll my eyes, I laugh, but inside I cry. I cry not because I'm mad, or upset, but because I believe her. It physically hurts my heart to listen to those words come from someone I look up to. I have no doubt in my mind that she loves me, her actions show it. I just think she’s too immature to understand how much damage words can do to someone. I have too much pride to ever let her know how much it bothers me. The fact that I chose this for my Yang shows how sensitive I am. I may appear strong but deep down inside I’m very emotional. When someone hurts me they usually aren't aware of the hurt they’ve caused, and I like it this way.
On the other hand, I appreciate when people compliment me on my soccer skills. I love soccer. I spend 90% of my life training to better myself at it. To have someone compliment you on something that you sacrifice so much for, feels great. I have bad games where I just want to go home afterward, hang my jersey up, and be done with it all. I’m so hard on myself with soccer that it's very easy to let my feelings get the best of me. Sometimes a compliment is enough to get me back on track and remind me what I’m capable of. I chose this as my Ying because soccer is what keeps me sane. Soccer gives me a purpose in life which is why I’m so passionate about it.
I love writing, but I can remember a time when I didn’t. I remember specifically in fifth grade Language Arts one of the most insulting memories. At that time I didn’t really put my brain in much use when it came to actually listening to what my teachers said. We were going over story plot lines in class, and Mr. Brodsky called on me, his eyes look as if he were saying, “Oh, Aja won’t know this answer”. And If I weren’t so certain, I probably would have believed him. But he called on me, and I correctly answered his questions about story plot lines. He then said to me, “Very good, Aja. I didn’t think you would get that.” The words slipped slickly out of his mouth like how a backhanded compliment would. This is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me (so far) because It felt like he was belittling me, undermining my intelligence, and making me feel like an itty bitty little black girl, with not enough brains to be in his Accelerated Language Arts class. The scenario was so stupid, but it stuck with me all these years because it was the first time a teacher outwardly implied that I was stupid or unintelligent. Afraid that I would become what he thought of me, I pushed myself extremely hard in Language Arts.
ReplyDeleteSince then English became something I took very seriously, at first I was proving a point, but then it became my voice of expression. I started writing poetry in eighth grade but it was usually for in class assignments. But last summer I was inspired by spoken word groups like The Strivers Row, or contests like Brave New Voices, and so I began writing my own. I’ve been writing stories since the end of fifth grade when Mr. Brodsky insulted my learning ability. I don’t let anyone read my stories or poetry, I’m not sure why. So when my teacher, Mr. Cliff requested to read a poem I wrote at one of my one-on-one art classes, I had to make an exception because there was no way I was telling a 76 year old man, “No, you can’t read my poetry.” So I pull up the poem in notes on my phone. He read it and said to me, “Wow, you’re great, so deep and passionate, I know that you’re going to become something great and successful.” he could have just been being nice but it was the best compliment anyone has ever given me, simply because no one has ever told me anything like that, and meant it. I felt like I believed him and for once I was doing something right.
I think it is funny that these two situations stick out to me because one is insulting my intelligence and the other is praising it. Both situations affected my thought process on things in positive ways. The insult made me try harder out of spite, and the compliment made me want to try harder so what he said about me, could be real and not just words. To me this says that I have a tendency to believe what people say, and that I will do whatever I need to do to prove them wrong or right.
At 16 years of age, I've really yet to discover what people truly think about me. To be honest, most people at Oakcrest probably think of me as one or two things: one, the weird kid who is always friendly to everybody and seems to follow the rules of the school or two, the kid that everybody knows but ignores. And in a way, I sorta like the idea of that, but I want to be known it this school. And to be known in this school, I would have to make my face known to a lot of people. And some will take it the wrong way and try to say something that will negatively affect me. But there will always be the people that will say something positive to motivate me. And looking at it, I've thankfully had more positive than negative things said about me, but for the sake of this blog, I can definitely name one positive and negative thing someone has said about me.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the yin, it was surprisingly was sister that has said the worst thing to me I can think of. It was when I was still in the 8th grade about to go into high school. I wasn't the most active or (socially active) kid in middle school. As a matter of fact, I was a full on introvert and wanted to do nothing but eat and play video games, which I still do but not as much. One day, we got into an argument on how she thought I wasn't gonna succeed in high school or life if I keep doing what I’m doing. I wasn't that tempted to reply because I had a plan for high school and I was determined it was going to work. Well my sister isn't one to piss off or get into an argument with and that's when she told me, “You fucking don't know what you're doing in your life and if you keep doing what you're doing, you're gonna kill yourself.”
My sister was always critical of me because she thought I didn't know what I wanted to do in MY life. Furious not only at her but myself for actually believing her, I wanted to give her a younger lashing that was coming to her. But again, I remembered that fighting wasn't going to solve anything and just ended up venting to my mom. My sister has a short temper I despise till this day because she doesn't really care about what other people think when she speaks her mind. Disappointed and frustrated with myself, I vowed to prove her wrong and anyone who doubted me in my dreams. And for the most part, I'd say it has worked out pretty well.
Now onto more positive things, literally, the yang, or the best compliment I've ever received from someone is from my mom. I know it's pretty cheesy, but she told me just last year, “Thank you for being a charming, caring young man. Don't ever let the world change you from that.” Humbled and not really caring as much because it is my mom after all, I take those type of comments to heart and wear them like a banner, because I do care.
These two comments counteract who I am as a person. The negative just simply means to block out the haters and preserve to your dreams even more. The positive comments mean what they say, to stay humble and never become greedy with social fame. I'm trying to become a commentator and commentators need to be neutral when talking about sports. You can never see only one side of something, you have to see the whole thing. And positive or negative, if you just stay in your lane, everything will work out the way you want it to work out. Words can hurt, but actions can heal and all who doubt me will only help me.
The Yin: I consider myself a sensitive person for the most part, so I tend to remember a lot of small comments. But, of course, at the moment I can't think of the WORST thing someone has ever said to me. However, I do remember things that made me feel angry and bad about myself, one of them being a comment about the fact that I won't get into one of my dream colleges. Being told that I will not get accepted to a good school is not the worst thing I have ever been told. It was the way it was said: “You won't get into that school because you sure aren't going to get a soccer scholarship and your grades aren't good enough, plus you could never afford it.” This is one of the worst things someone has said to me because it was intended to make me feel like I wasn't good enough. It made me feel like everything I had worked for and continued to work for wasn't going to be good enough. I think I was affected by this comment because of my strong dedication to school work and soccer. At the time, soccer meant a lot to me and a scholarship was something I worked hard for. This whole scenario reveals that I break down under that kind of “motivation” and get offended when things that I am serious about are threatened.
ReplyDeleteThe Yang: It doesn't take much to make me smile. Honestly, the best thing I have ever been told is “I'm proud of you.” Although I hear this often, every time it makes me feel amazing. No specific person has said this to me. I’ve heard it from my parents, my family members, my friends, my teachers, my coaches, and so on. I believe it is the best compliment to receive because it means something. It means that you excelled in a task. It means that you made someone happy. It means that you're defining a reputation for yourself and the kind of person you are. And to me, this is important. It is important to do good deeds and work hard and excel in everything you do because one day it will all pay off. Knowing that I did something to make someone proud is the most satisfying feeling. With regards to my personality, this indicates that I enjoy making others satisfied by my actions. It reveals that I look for that kind of reassurance from others around me; I need reassurance to know that I am doing okay in this world. This shows my dependence upon my peers.
Yin: If anyone truly knows me they would know that my weight is what I am most self-conscious about. Here is why: I was that chubby kid growing up and I remember in third and fourth grade boys would constantly tell me every day “When you walk it makes the world shake.” “You’re fat.” “You shouldn’t do cheerleading because nobody wants to see those thighs.” These were the worst things ever because even though these statements didn’t start to affect me until middle school, but more so high school, it has a tremendous effect on my view on my body and my eating habits. I became obsessed with counting calories in 7th grade, I would have a bad habit of vomiting if I ate that one cookie I wanted really bad in 8th, forcing myself to sleep in late, so I won’t start eating until noon in 10th, weighing myself at least three times a day, and telling myself you’re not hungry just bored in 11th.
ReplyDeleteYang: This may sound shallow, but the best compliment I ever received was when Rayelle told me “Justice you lost a lot of weight.” I don’t think she knows how great this made me feel. Hearing this the first thing that came to my mind was “What if my perception on myself isn’t true?” It made me question my eating habits. It made me actually want to eat regularly and stop throwing up if I eat that one cookie that I wanted really badly. It made me love myself and my body for once.
Once again Arianna you are right. What both the Yin and the Yang represents about my personality is that I don’t love myself. They represent how I let others determine my worth, value, and their opinions on myself.
Words never really meant much to me for a long time. I could argue they still don't mean a lot to me but there are certain times when if strung together in the right pattern they suddenly mean a hell of a lot. For this yin I have a lot of things to chose from. In my life I’ve been pushed down a lot I would say, people jokingly call me names which I allow but every so often one of those sentences was strung together just right and the words actually hit me. I’m going to start off with one from someone who changed my life in a way. I refuse to go into detail about this person or even mention a name but it is when he said to me, “I can’t talk to you anymore you’re an actual fucking psycho.” This was the last real conversation we had. He was the cause of multiple anxiety attacks and I like to believe the root to my relationship issues. It doesn’t really sound that bad now but it’s definitely not the worst thing that was said. Another statement that tore me down to the floor occurred was when I was a freshman on dance team. Being the lankey person I am I was a very self conscious dancer. Looking back I hate myself for not being confident in what I did but I felt like one of those inflatable men in front of car stores when I danced. One night, which happened to be my last ever dance concert, a boy you might know named Joey Taylor came up to me after and said “Why do you dance, you’re so awkward.” Needless to say, I never put on my dance shoes ever again after that.
ReplyDeleteI’ve gotten tons of compliments throughout my life but there are very few that I actually cared about. One that really sticks out to me is from a guy named Yuseph Cornish. This was our costume designer for the Little Mermaid musical last year and he was and still is an amazing actor. I auditioned for the musical and I didn’t get the part I wanted, in fact I got a pretty shitty role to be honest but on this one day my life changed. Yuseph was taking my measurements for my costume backstage and when I walked in he said to me, “You’re Kaitlyn right?”. This part wasn’t a huge deal but it meant something big to me because I had never met this guy before in my life and I had only said my name to him once. I was really surprised he remembered my name but then he said to me, “I really enjoyed your audition, I thought it was very good.” Now this may have just been a compliment that he said to everyone but it meant a lot to me. Him saying this made me realize, just because I didn’t get a good part doesn’t mean I’m not good. I finally got the idea that I’m a key, and just because my key didn’t fit into any of the locks (roles in the play) didn’t mean I was a bad key and didn’t fit in ANY locks. This small compliment changed my entire outlook on life in general and I’m sure will follow me everywhere.
These two statements were honestly the yin and yang of my life. I wish I had been more confident with myself freshman year during my yin, but I’m glad I was able to blossom and sprout confidence through my yang.
As I try to think back to my childhood memories where I felt everyone looked down upon me and where I probably received the most profanities and colorful language any child could receive, I cannot think of the worst thing someone had ever said to me. There are bits and pieces of memories I can recall from what friends, family friends, and strangers said to me. I remember their cackling laughter, taunting sneer, and the bestial eyes of a pedophile, but none of that fazes me anymore. So instead, I will just think of the worst thing that someone had said to me recently and in fact, quite frequently.
ReplyDelete“你做得咁辛苦做咩啫?” (English translation: Why do you try so hard?)
Those were the words of my parents. To others it may seem something meaningless compared to phrases like “go die” or “we didn’t even want you”, but to me...it hurt a lot. I do not even know why, but I felt as if my parents did not understand me. That all the efforts I try to put into schoolwork and homework, they do not notice. What was all the hard-work I put into one measly project for? Am I still trying to impress them? Am I still seeking for their attention? Sometimes, I just want to quit. Just drop everything and not care anymore. But I always find myself going back to it, working away like a workaholic.
...I think this was the worst because they did not seem to appreciate the effort I put into school.
“你似你的爺爺.” (English translation: You resemble your grandfather)
My grandfather died during the early ages of my mother, so I have never spoken to or seen him before besides the one picture I found in an album. Throughout my life, I have heard great things about my grandfather from my mother and grandmother. I heard that he was the smartest teacher in school (second to none, coming from my grandmother) and that his artistic skills were excellent. Because I like to draw, I often get critiques from my grandmother. She would tell me what I should fix and what I did well on, and very rarely would she bring up my grandfather. She would praise me saying that I resemble him, that he also loved to draw, and it would make me feel like I have a close connection with someone I have never met before even though I feel like I should. Sometimes, I would wish that my grandfather was still alive because if he was, he would have been able to teach me so many things and we would have gotten along so well.
Me thinking that my parents do not appreciate my efforts and me loving the fact that I resemble my grandfather points out that I seek acknowledgment. Having felt left out in a majority of my life, it seems reasonable that I would seek for recognition and I do not think that it is necessarily a bad thing.
Yin: People have said some pretty cruel things to me, maybe in the the heat of the moment those things said were not truly meant. Regardless of those situations the words still struck deep. Most of those accounts have come at the hand of my father. In his moments of blackout drunkenness he's said some pretty hurtful things. Rather than pointing out one specific moment, it is the sum of all those words that did the damage. The words he said coming from my dad of all people is the worst part. The father figure in your life plays a role like no one else you’ll have in your life. That certain idolization and love you have for him puts him on a higher pedestal. The slightest things could make you feel some type of way especially when saying something along the lines of what he has said. “I’ll never amount to anything, I’m a disappointment, I’m a pussy, I’m not his son,” the countless fu’s. They all add up, and take a toll on someone if you let them.
ReplyDeleteYang: People always mention my happiness. That is the trend of all my blogs. The people that mean the most to me are the ones that make those words so much more. For my family to realise that even in some of the hardest times I remain in bright spirits. The influence I have on people is something I not try to take granet of, and when I am told I am always happy that reminds me to stay like that for my well being and the well being of others.
These things I’ve been told are thanks to the environment and way I live. I can blame the alcohol for those words that can not be taken back, but on the other hand those complimenting words are an effect of the way I live my life. Me being happy is just who I am and those words my father said were not genuine just something to get under my skin.
“Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.” I’ve heard this probably about million times, but I don’t believe in it. The whole purpose of this short childish quote is to understand that words are hurtful, but don’t mean anything, as long as you don’t let them. After the numerous petty fights with my brothers, and being the youngest and most immature, my mom repeated this quote to me more times than I would be able to count on my fingers and toes. Eventually I got the message, just ignore what ever is said, it will only hurt you if you let it. I learned to ignore, I was the little sister, but the bigger person. I walked away from situations, without saying a word, without continuing a fight. However, now that I’m older, I still follow the advice, but don’t agree to it. For years, I’ve always said’ it’s easier to remember bad situations, bad people, and harmful words than it is to remember the compliments someone gave you. Maybe it’s just me, but when whenever I find myself reminiscing over the past, it’s not always happy. Last year, my sophomore year, I will always remember specifically because the field hockey team lost with a score of 3-1 to Vineland, a team who hasn’t won in 30 years. It’s not the fact that we lost, it’s the words I remember. The words that crushed my heart and confidence all at the same time, “I don’t trust you.” I was a sophomore, still trying to find my place on the team, and basically just fit in with the upperclassmen on the team. My coach was describing her feelings about me. She gave every varsity player corrections from the game, but mine was more like a bullet. She was describing corners, where the offensive team lines up to shoot on the opposing team with a greater amount of players, so the outcome should be an offensive goal. My position? The shooter. It didn’t matter that I was the only who scored that game, it doesn’t matter that I have the strongest shot on the team. She didn’t trust me, so I couldn’t trust myself. Fast forward a year later, I took that bullet and didn’t let it penetrate me. I worked harder and harder off and on the field to better myself. I needed to prove myself. I was and still am trustworthy. This past season consisted of the most compliments ever, from coaches, referees, and strangers. Instead of “I don’t trust you” I heard everything from “watch Kelsey she does it perfectly to “wow you’re only a junior?” These though are only the generic forms of my multiple compliments. I could never remember exactly all the nice things said about and to me, only because they’re trumped by the negative. But those negative, hurtful words, that I could let tear me down, I use to build myself up.
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing that someone has ever said to me is someone calling me short and fat. This was a while ago back when kids were immature and didn’t know what words could do. Back then I used to get upset when people said things like this to me, but things like that now don’t have an impact on me. I have come to learn that there are going to be mean people in the world and it’s best to ignore them and not associate with them. So if I hear somebody say this to me, I could really care less and I go on with my day. I don’t go home and cry and think about what somebody said about me because there are more important things to worry about. I don’t need to be worrying about what an immature person has to say about me because what they think doesn’t matter to me. I don’t associate with them and worry about what they are saying. If a parent or teacher said something really bad to me, then I would be kind of upset and mad, but when a kid says something bad, I just forget about it because I know that there are other people that aren’t like that, that I can associate with. Words do have a huge impact on everyone, including me, but I tend to remember the good words about me and not dwell on bad things that people had to say about me. I don’t understand why I would want to think about theses things that happened in the past. The only way I would remember something bad said is if it were from someone of significance that I had looked up to because it would really hurt and have an impact on me. This has never happened, so I don’t remember any specific times when someone said something really bad to me.
ReplyDeleteThe best compliment that I have received was when my grandma told me that I really was a great person. This may seem like a little, but I don’t receive many sincere comments, so when my grandma said this, it made me feel very happy. I have always tried to make my grandma feel happy and I would always give her compliments (especially ones about her Italian cooking) that I could tell made her happy. There’s nothing better, than brightening someone’s day when it isn’t the best time for them. When she said these words, they gave me a feeling of happiness inside that I can feel every time that I see her. Compliments like these from people that I love will always stick in my mind, but negative ones will easily be erased. When I think about the positive words like these, they make me feel happy, but when I think about the negative words, they make me feel sad, so I let the positive words stick in my mind.
Theses two choices reveal that I don’t dwell in the past when it comes to bad things. I will remember the good things that made me feel happy because it makes no sense to want make myself feel sad by remembering rude things that people had to say about me. It also reveals that words do have an impact on me and I do realize that my words can also impact someone else. Everyone is different on how they handle certain things, so I am very careful to choose my words correctly depending on who I am speaking with and where I am.
The Yin: I don't remember most of the things people say to me, not because it doesn't mean anything, but because I simply just don't remember. But this one comment I will never forget: “Oh, you are not making it division one, trust me.” This is probably the worst thing ever said to me because it made me feel like I couldn't accomplish my dream. At the time, soccer meant the whole entire world to me and I had the dream of making it division one, until she crushed it. Hearing that comment completely shut me down. It brought tears to my eyes and I was just caught off guard because you shouldn't be saying that to anyone. Even if I didn't have the skill at the time to make it division one, let me still have that dream to motivate me to work harder. Looking back on it now, I didn't let what she said affect me because I’m a much better soccer player than I was when the comment was made, and I do have the ability and potential to make it division one. Even though I don't have much interest in playing at that level anymore, I can still use this comment to motivate me academically, pushing me to work hard to get into a good medical school.
ReplyDeleteThe Yang: My mom tells me all the time that she is proud of me. She says that she’s proud with how hard I’m working in school and with the grades I’m getting. She says that she’s proud of how strong I am. And most importantly, she says that she’s proud that I push through something that I don’t want to do. This something has been a struggle the past few weeks because I've lost complete interest in it for some reason, I’m not wanting to do it anymore, and I’ve just been trying to think to myself about what I want to do about the situation. But there is no way to fix it at this time so I have to push through all these feelings and try to make the best of it. Every time I get into the car after it's over, my mom says, “I’m proud of you,” This is the best compliment because it reassures me and lets me know that I accomplished something. On the other hand, getting comments made about how well you are doing in school or even how well you did on a test, makes me extremely happy. All of the long nights of homework and studying finally pay off. Being told from a teacher that you did well or hearing from parents or guardians that they're proud of you, motivates me to only do better and to keep doing what I’m doing. Picking this comment reveals that I like being told I’m doing well and that it helps motivate me.
The worst thing someone said to me was when First grade teacher Sister Debbie yelled to me "Sean you're in trouble!". Now that might not seem to have a lot of weight, but when you're 7 and when to a Catholic private school your whole life it holds a lot of weight. The teachers at my old school try to instill the idea that you should always be a good kid that should never be in trouble. Not a lot of the kids in my class ever fully grasp this idea but a few people including me. So when I was told that I was in trouble I broke down in tears for about 2 minutes. From then on I always try not to get in trouble and be that goody two shoes that everyone questions on how are your still morally pure. And so I'm still trying to uphold this for as long as I can to this day.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing I've ever been told is from my dad when he said was "I'm proud of you". Now that might be the most generic phrase ever, but its true. My dad and I are so tight he's happy just to see me. So I always try to impress him with achievements that say 'thank you for being a great dad' because he cares about me so much. I always hear a lot of people ignominiously talk about their parents, so I always wondered why all the hate? I've asked my dad and he said its culture but I still wonder why people don't love their parents unless I know their situation is complicated. So to that I hope amends can be made to those people and maybe give a little extra thanks to your parents, because they have given up so much for us.
I don't think that even Bunje's post for this blog truly encaptures just how powerful words can be. I don't think that people realize that words cut deeper than knives. I don't think people understand the scars that words can leave. And I don't think that people know that sometimes, words are all we need to lead us to the light at the end of the tunnel.
ReplyDeleteMy Yin: "You're different. Don't say you're here for me. Because you aren't here for me anymore."
Last year was the hardest year of my life. I was so low. So gone. So out of it. So lost. So goddamn sad. Last year was the worst year of my life. And when I finally got out of that abyss, I chose to be a different person. I promised myself I would never get to that point again, and I vowed to be there for anyone who ever needed a friend, because I understood how it felt to be alone, and I never wanted anyone to feel the way I felt. I try to be the best friend that I can be. I try to support everyone in everything they do, and I try to be there whenever I can. There's nothing I spend more time on than trying to keep my friends happy. And when someone said this to me, I was devastated. I spent so much time trying to better myself and trying to be a better me that I forgot to be there for the people that I loved more than myself. I let them down. I felt like I failed. As a friend and as a person. And those words will forever be engraved in the back of my mind. What they said is something that I will not ever forgive myself for.
My Yang: "You'll always be loved as long as I'm here."
Sometimes we choose to believe that life is an indistinguishable shade of grey, when things are really more black and white than they seem. Sometimes we're surrounded by people, and choose to feel alone. And sometimes, we choose to think about all the people that don't love us as opposed to the ones that do. And those sometimes, are all the time for me. I have a hard time remembering that I'm loved, or appreciated, or wanted. I listen to the one person who wants me out of their life, and feel like everyone would be better off without me around. Knowing that someone loves me more than anything is my constant reminder that I don't have to leave. This is the best thing that anyone has ever said to me because it gives me reason every single day of my life.
These things say a lot about me, but nothing most of you probably didn't know. I think it says that I wear my heart right there on my sleeve, but it's probably big enough to throw on and wear as an entire outfit, not just an accessory. I think it says that I pride myself in who I'm trying to be after being who I've been. And I think it says that the greatest threat to my life is being alone.
"You're a freak" is the probably the worst thing someone has ever said to me by far. When I was really young I started to get weird twitches in my body and never really learned to control them. I don't know when I started to get them but all I remember is that I hated it so much. I used get really mad because of how much it annoyed me to n no end. One day I was caught by a student twitching out a bit and they called me a freak. I got really angry and began to cry but got over it later. I was very young at the time and would never do that again now because I don't really care if someone called me that, but it is something I will never forget in my life because I still twitch to this day. This was the only thing someone said to me that really got to me for some reason but I have gotten over it now.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing someone ever said to me was " You are one of the only people that I would take a bullet for." This was said by my sister not to long ago and it really made me feel proud of myself. Recently I received my adult black belt and my whole family was there to watch me. My sister gave a speech for me and said those exact words and it made me feel much closer to my sister now. She may be in college but I still feel close to her and still is my best friend to this day. But I never thought someone would say that to me which is why it means a lot to me.
These two things do show that I don't really care what people tell me unless it's something about me because people can say what they want about me but its not what they think but what I think of myself. People call me names all the time and say mean stuff to me but I really could care less what they have to say to me.
Yin: The worst thing that anyone has ever said to me was that “I wasn’t good enough to play on the varsity baseball team”. At the time this was said I questioned my ability to play the sport I loved so much. I thought about all the negatives instead of the positives. Now at the time this was said it was the worst thing that I heard because baseball was such a huge part of my life. I was trying so hard to make varsity and once the person made that comment my pride fell to an all time low.
ReplyDeleteThis comment made me feel like a terrible player and whether or not I should have made the team. Needless to say I ended up making varsity and the player who said it almost got kicked off for being a jackass. Looking back on it now I am happy that it was said because it challenged my ability and made me work harder to reach my goal. It ended up paying off when my coach called my name for the varsity squad.
Yang: The nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me was that I was the nicest person they had ever met. I always strive to be a nice person no matter how bad or terrible my day is going. Being nice to people when I’m down in the dumps can really lift my spirits in a way and when people recognize it, it really makes me happy. Someone once said this to me and it really just made me feel like a good person. Being nice is fun.
In this particular moment of niceness, I can’t quite remember what I did. I will always remember those 6 words in my head and in my heart as long as I live. It will make me keep being a nice person to all the people around me. This is why it was truly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
These two comments hold a place in my heart and I will never forget them. These two points I chose reveal about my personality that I can push through things and am a good person. I fought through and pushed to reach my goal of becoming a varsity player even though I was told I wasn’t good enough. I also let many people and one particular person that I was a nice person and would talk to anyone who needed help or a lift. These things have revealed many things about me and I am truly glad that they happened in my life.
The Yin: “Your true mother gave you up because she didn’t want you. I wish she would have kept you so you could be in Korea. Do us all a favor and go back there” and “Only your gay mommys love you”
ReplyDelete(I understand having two moms can change my friendships with others based on religious/personal views…but I don’t care anymore.)
Two comments that were made online about me. I was at a loss for words. I was 4 weeks shy from my 14th birthday and still very immature so I did what every immature eighth grader did and cried. I cried because I didn’t understand why anyone would dislike me. I never caused any trouble with anyone. I never said a mean word to anyone, I was anything but mean. I always made sure I knew what I was saying and how to say it. Apparently, I pissed this person off so much that they had to include my parents. I was always so open about my adoption and my moms that I didn’t think anything of it when I talked about them. But this person’s comment made me so insecure about having two moms, I now say ‘parents’ instead of ‘moms’. I don’t want to do that anymore. Because I’m anything but ashamed. They have given me everything that I have ever wanted and needed. Back to the mean comments; to me it’s the worst thing anyone could say to me because they said behind a screen instead of to me and it was on anonymous. I wish I didn’t let the person make me hide the two most important people in my life. But as they say: a mothers love is the best type of love. I’m lucky enough to have twice the amount.
To the person who wrote those comments: jokes on you. I’m from Vietnam. And no, Vietnam is NOT the same thing as Korea.
The Yang: “Your kindness brightens up the room. Every time I see you, I smile”
I try to be kind to everyone. I would rather make someone’s day happy than shitty. When this person said this to me, my heart actually melted a little. I didn’t realize how much my kindness could rub off on people. When the comment was said, I didn’t know the person that well so it meant a lot to me that I could make a positive impression. That person also said he has noticed me being nice to others and wanted to tell me but never had the chance/courage to. Again, my heart melted because it came from the boy’s heart. The ‘every time I see you, I smile part’ is what makes it extra special. I will always hold a special place in my heart for this person.
The yin represented the darkness in my life. The yang represented the light. Unfortunately, the person from my yin made me stubborn because they made it hard for me to trust people again. I am afraid if I am too nice that someone will turn their back on me. The boy from my yang makes me want to be nothing BUT kind. All I ever want to be in life is to be the happy-go lucky kid I once was; the one who made people smile 24/7 and helped those who need it. Slowly but surely, I am getting back to the person I want to be; and I have never been happier.
“I don’t care if you’re not happy.” This was said to me about a week ago, I believe it was last Thursday. I was texting my dad and he told me about how I never come over anymore. I tried to explain how he’s made me feel this past year and he flat out told me he does not care. He said my happiness doesn’t matter. My so called “hero” told me my happiness doesn’t phase him. If I wasn’t crushed October 10th, I was crushed last Thursday. I sat on the four o’clock bus and bawled my eyes out mind you I hate crying in front of people but what he said hurt so bad I couldn’t not cry. This was by far one of the worst things anyone has ever said to me. It broke my broken heart into tinier pieces and was the worst thing I’ve heard my own dad say. It makes me wish I had a different father, but you can’t choose family.
ReplyDeleteI remember being in class wearing my watch because it was the biggest accessory I own and covered my arm. I was looking down at it to make sure it covered what was underneath. Sitting in 204 listening to Bunje speak of the stars that we were about to make. Then she says the most important words I’ve needed to hear for so long. “You matter, no matter how hard it gets you can keep going, you can do it.” well something along those lines. I remember sitting there telling myself not to cry. I couldn’t hold it in any longer so I scurried to the bathroom and lost it. Not short after Jana and Arianna came in to hug me and I love them so much for doing that because as much as I wanted to be alone I really didn’t and I appreciated them coming. Her words hit me harder than I can ever explain. Those words are part of the reason I keep going. Well now that I think about it it’s not really considered a compliment, I took it as everyone that was sitting in 204 and was listening to her speak were all strong enough to keep going. Her words to me were seen as a complement of strength.
My choice on what the worst thing that was said to me shows that I don’t forgive and forget easily. I’ll remember those words for the rest of my life and I’ll never truly forgive him. I’m not a very forgiving person. My choice of best complement shows I was weak but I haven’t given up. I’m on the path to true happiness despite everything else.
Thinking of the worst thing somebody has ever said to me is difficult. I don’t trip over negitivity and my self confidence usually shoots down insults. However, one time, my mom said something to me that shook me up. She didn’t mean to be insulting or cause harm, but thats how it was delivered. She said “The reason we’ve never had any money is because MacGyver is always sick.”. It was around christmas time when I was in middle school. I didn’t want to be sick. I didn’t want my sister getting less presents because my pills costed hundreds of dollars. I didn’t want my flaws being tied in to my loved ones. I didn’t want her saying that my life long illnesses are the reason she can’t work a full time job or save up surplus money. That was never my intention. On the other hand, Last year, Jana dished out my favorite compliment. I had to do a media project, and to start it off, I had to ask people to describe me in one word. I asked many different people, and they all gave me generic replies; funny, nice smart, etc. When I asked Jana, she said loyal. I don’t know why, but I still remember her saying that, and it made me happy. Loyalty is rare, and I honestly think it takes a lot of hard work and tough love to be loyal. I think it made me feel special because I’ve never been close with people, and to find out that I am loyal, meant that I knew I wouldn’t mess things up with close friends or relationships in the future. Well, at least I hope so.
ReplyDelete“She is so annoying and stressful that I want to go home.” Those were the words that crushed me more than anything else. Now that was not directly said to me but I heard them being said about me. My sister was living in school at the time and while she was home I decided to open up to her about everything that was going on in my life. She took all the information that I gave her and told her friend everything. She also continued to call me a slut and told her friend that I was disgusting. I chose the quote where she spoke about me making her want to go home because I was the one who wanted her to come back for the weekend, but it turned out that she hated being around me. It made me feel horrible and betrayed because I had just opened up to her and me doing that did nothing but piss her off. I just wanted a closer relationship with my only sister and she shut me down. (Me and her are good now)
ReplyDeleteBeing told “you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me” is the best thing I’ve ever had anyone say to me. My best friend said that to me while I was the very lowest point in my life. Just like everyone else I’ve had my fair share of rough moments in my life where I felt worthless and unappreciated. When you don’t have any self-esteem knowing that someone else cares about you is the best feeling in the world. Knowing I made a difference to someone and that someone loved me was what I needed.
What I’ve picked as the best and worst thing anyone has said about me shows that some kind of I need approval from the people I love to feel good about myself. I don’t like feeling worthless to others and I like to know that I am appreciated by other people. I have been working on trying to just love myself no matter what anyone else thinks, but it can be difficult when someone you care about puts you down. The fact that being told that I'm the best thing to happen to some was the reason my life started to get better just proves that approval is what I need right now.
I have been heavy my whole life. I have been through major weight gains and losses. But my weight has never really affected me. I am not embarrassed because I’m bigger than others, and I don’t intend on changing myself for others. Of course I would love to be in shape, but sometimes It is just not that easy. That is why when people bust and just joke about my weight that is something I do not work about. But, one of the worst things that I have ever been told was from someone that I love so much. My mom. “ The reason you don’t see changes is because you do not try or work hard enough to even care.” I am someone whos is very emotional. But things that I take very serious is my work ethic at something that I care about. It hurt me on another level than most others would be affected by it. It was the worst because I never thought that I would hear someone close to me tell me I don’t work or care enough at something that is hard to change for me. I was super depressed and instead of feeling motivated I just felt like quitting. My mom probably doesn't know or realize how much my weight means to me and it is completely un motivating to have someone you expect to have there not support you. It was a thing that I think shapes the way that I work on my body and my healthy well being. I know view whenever my mom says something about the gym as a threat or an embarrassment because I can't change.
ReplyDeleteOne of the best compliments I have recieved was from someone that I didn’t know. I was at the OC boardwalk and a girl came up to me. She was most likely intoxicated but still nevertheless she said that I was one of the funniest people she has ever talked to or encountered. I was so gassed. Believe me I really think that the fact that I cheer people up with my humor or make people laugh whether at me or with me is a great feeling especially when someone comes up to you and tells you that they were the funniest kid.
Both of these encounters have changed the way I act. I think I don not try to tell my mom as much of what I do because I don’t want her to say something that would be de motivating to me. It makes me think of the things that I can’t do that I know I try at and really care about that I just can’t really change. But I think that encounter with these people have made me funnier more humble, and more accepting of people's goals.
The worst thing anyone has ever said to me is that I was a disappointment. Honestly this was the worst thing ever said to be because I actually believed it, and that just took a tole on my life during that time. Like it had me thinking that I shouldn't have won the race and been born into this world because why would god put me on this earth to be a disappointment, there was just no point. Until I had to think for myself and look back on what I did throughout my life to realize I shouldn't give a damn about what anyone thinks of me as long as I think good of myself. On the other hand the best compliment I've ever got in my life was when someone told me every time they see me they can't help but smile. That is probably one of the most simplest things but hearing that I don't even have to do anything to make someone smile or their day better by just my presence makes me realize how much of an impact I can have on someone's day by just having a positive attitude and staying happy. I forget who told me these things but looking back I can understand why being told I was a disappointment was the worst thing ever said to me and when someone told me every time they see me they can't help but smile was the best. Saying this revealed something bad about my personality and I really don't know how to fix that but from those two examples it shows how much I care about other people's opinions, and I have to stop that. I have to realize not to care what other people say good or bad because honestly it doesn't what anyone thinks of me if I don't feel the same way about myself personally. Like a wise man once said "Never let your highs get you too high, and never let your lows get you too low" and I can relate that to compliments and negative feedback I get from people because when you think about it neither of them are good.
ReplyDeleteThe Yin: To be honest, when someone has something negative to say to me, I kind of tone them out. I don’t really remember anything negative or hurtful that has been said to me over the years, but one thing that has been recently said is “You’re so stupid” or “You’re so slow”. I try not to let a lot of negative energy from others get to me, but that’s one thing that can hurt my feelings. Being called stupid is one thing that makes me tear up. Stupid is a strong word to me. It is extremely ignorant and that’s something that I am not. Calling someone stupid and having a smile on your face doesn’t change anything. What makes it worst is the fact that it’s coming from my “friends”. The statement truly makes me second guess myself a lot and it really makes me wonder if I’m really stupid. I remember I was in class and I didn’t understand the way something was being explained to me and someone called me slow. That’s very insulting. I sit in class wondering if I’m stupid or if I don’t belong in the class just because I don’t understand one little thing. Words normally don’t hurt me especially when it’s coming out of the mouth of someone who isn’t relevant, but being called stupid is something that will sit in the back of my head for a very long time.
ReplyDeleteThe Yang: I don’t need compliments to boost my self-esteem. But one compliment I get is about Track. I love when other runners, people who look up to me, and family members compliment me on Track. I have been running serious Track since the 7th grade, when I moved to Georgia. Living there has taught me a lot about running and I’m very grateful that I experienced it, because without it I feel as though that I wouldn’t be as serious with Track as I am now. Although, I am not yet the #1 best out here, I know that I push myself to become the best and progress at every practice and meet. It makes me feel like I am doing what I need to do when someone compliments me on working hard or even being fast. My third year being on Varsity, there’s girls on the team who look up to me and ask for my help a lot and it actually motivates me. Also, another thing that motivates me and makes me feel proud of myself is when my parents approach the fact that they’re proud of me instead of constantly yelling at me about how I missed a day of working out. Without my parents pushing me, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
The yin represents the fact that I let the things that I shouldn’t let get to me affect me. I shouldn’t care about anything negative that someone has to say to me to me or about me because I know what I am capable of. The yang represents the fact that Track is one of the only things that I really worry about. It bumps about my confidence especially when I know that I’m putting my everything into it. Track is one thing that keeps me from worrying about and focusing on the negative people and things that try to bring me down.
Apparently, I’m not the only one with a bad memory. I tend to remember the little embarrassing stuff and cringe every time when I do. But, recently, there was crew. Once upon a time, I went on a trip with my family to the Poconos for whitewater rafting and decided then and there that I wanted to row. Fast forward to freshman year. Well, turns out that rowing was a LOT harder than I thought, but I was a perfect size to be a coxswain. There were already enough coxswains for the year and they were all juniors. One of the only things that kept me going through the season was that I could cox in two years and I wouldn’t have to erg anymore.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, I had a chance to cox at the end of the year and the next year (sophomore year) I was a full-time coxswain. I did whatever I could throughout the year (even before school started), but especially during the training season, to prepare myself and try to become a decent coxswain. I read and listened to everything that I could about the art of rowing, and did whatever I could to try to improve myself. Once water season started, I knew I had a lot to work on. As the season went on, I could tell I wasn’t getting any better and I wasn’t any happier that had anything to do with crew. While this was going on, there was drama, of course, happening and I listened from a distance. But then, I was involved. I had to find out from CeCe that the girls on the boat I was coxing were talking behind my back about how bad I was and how they preferred the other coxswain that I was switching with, which I already knew. The comments didn’t really affect me, but what made me really mad was that they talked about all of this when I was out of the boat and literally IN FRONT OF my best friend. They had to be immature about it and apparently stupid too because CeCe is literally behind all of them in the boat. It crushes me whenever I think about what she had to go through to hear all of this bs about her best friend. This combined with my terribleness at coxing just ruined the sport for me and that is the real reason why I quit.
The best thing anyone could say/has said to me is “how did you do that?”. I love to surprise people with what I can do with crafts and the power of Pinterest. I’m always trying to find a new form of art and I try to spend as much time and concentration into a personalized/homemade gift to make someone feel special. I might not be the most creative or the smartest, but I put a lot of effort into my presents. People usually expect something simple, so it’s fun to see the look on someone’s face when they get what looks like a card that took forever and complicated to do, which is usually true.
Picking these show that I do care about my friends even though I might not show it in a normal manner. Honestly, I was a bit optimistic with the patience of the people on my boat, but after everything went down, I was brought back to real life. I love making stuff and being acknowledged for the amount of effort that I put in.
Yin: Growing up, I was raised by a hard working single mother and on weekends, I spent time with my dad. I have to admit, my father always spoiled me more than my mom. And by spoiling I mean spending a lot of time together and getting me whatever I want, whenever I wanted it. Although I was a huge “daddy’s girl” I had a strong connection to my mom. I have always honored her dedication to provide food and a roof over our heads.
ReplyDeleteHowever, my mom might be a handful at times. Because of her ADD; she almost never pays attention to me, she forgets about a lot of things--fast, and she may seem irresponsible to other adults. Even though I have caught myself complaining about my mom and getting agitated for various reasons, I have always stood up for my mom no matter what. I completely, without a doubt, hate it when people talk bad about my mom. And that is why the worst thing anyone has ever said to me has to do with my mom.
“You have the most horrible mom,” which came from my dad’s sister. I was around the age of 14 or 15 when my aunt said this to me and this was also the stage where I started to talk back to my elders. I completely blacked out and yelled at my aunt for ignominiously talking about my mom. This was the worst thing because my mom is super special to me and I know that she could never be “The most horrible mom”--ever! It made me feel completely doleful and furious at the same time. I was sad to have to imagine that my mom could even be titled something as terrible as that because she tries so hard to tend to my needs. And I was furious to hear it from my aunt, who had no room to talk because of several things she has done in the past.
Yang: In elementary and 6th grade, I was continuously called “fat” and “ugly”. It affected me a lot and has created the insecure personality of mine. Due to wanting to be prettier and skinnier, I worked hard to; lose weight, use makeup, and beg my parents to get me braces. Around 8th and 9th grade, I lost a good amount of weight, wore makeup almost everyday, and had braces. And of course being complimented on something you're most insecure about feels like an accomplishment.
In 9th grade, I got a lot of compliments about being pretty and looking thinner. It felt amazing to finally be “pretty” and gain lots of attention. However, this was not the best thing anyone has said to me.
The best thing someone has said to me was, “Why do you try so hard to be pretty when you already are? You don’t need makeup and you're perfect the way you are.” This came from a guy at the tattoo shop, who was piercing my nose. He was cleaning my nose and noticed that I had foundation on. Before my nose piercing, I had my belly pierced and he was also the guy that did it, which is how he remembered what I looked like without makeup. It honestly made me realize that I was so concerned about other people's opinion, that I failed to recognize my natural beauty. After this day, I have reduced my use of makeup drastically--well unless there’s a party, which in that case, I go all out!
My yin and yang, in a way defines my personality. The worst thing that could have been said to me represents that I’m a family girl. I get very sensitive when it comes to family and have always valued it. Nothing means more to me than the love of family because of its extreme power and comfort. Also, the best thing anyone has ever said to me, although it's not as best explained, illustrates that I am insecure. The fact that it took the guy that pierced my nose to help me realize that I am beautiful without trying expresses that I was self conscious. Even now, I still am not at all as confident as other girls but I am slowly learning how to be.
Words can and are one of the most powerful things this universe has to offer. How you word a sentence or statement can decide how you impact someone else. For as long as I could remember, I haven't really had any deep and hurtful conversations with people. When thinking about what was the worst thing anyone has said to me, nothing initially popped into my head. I sat there thinking for what felt like ages as to what hurts the most that someone has said to me. I finally dug deep enough and remembered one time where I got into an argument with another friend of mine. (Was asked not to disclose the name of this person). The argument escalated and I called that “person” a bitch. That friend didn't say anything bad back to me, but I ended up leaving that conversation on my computer that night. I guess my mom came in to say goodnight and saw the conversation on the screen. The next morning when I work up I instantly noticed that my laptop was missing. I went and asked my mom and that is when she sat me down and explained that she had saw the conversation, and then she uttered a quick 4 words that no child ever wants to hear from their parents. “Im disappointed in you”. I remember those words as if she just said them yesterday. When she said those words my heart instantly dropped. I sat in that chair sinking ever so deeply playing those 4 words back in my head. She didn't have to say anything else. Those 4 words had done the job. Lets just say I no longer just say what pops into my head when i'm mad.
ReplyDeleteNow onto the positive part of this blog. Picture this. 6th grade year you walk into school and you're talking with your friends. You're all sitting next to each other during homeroom when your teacher gives her little morning messages, “good morning class and welcome back to school I hope everyone got a lot of candy on halloween” then she said the thing I would've never expected. She said, “I was asked by Dennis’s parents to let you all know that he won't be in school for a week because unfortunately his house caught fire last night and he is currently moving into a new place for the time being”. Those words struck me hard and had me thinking for the rest of the day. How could this happen? What could I do? Is everyone ok? All of those questions swirled around in my brain until it finally hit me. LETS RAISE MONEY FOR HIS FAMILY! I went home that day and told my mom all about the situation and how I wanted to solve it. She agreed that it would be a great thing to do. She typed a quick letter explaining the plan, printed it out and had me hand them out to my class to show their parents. The note basically asked each parent to donate 5$ or more to help out Dennis. The money was asked to be due that friday so we could get it all ready for the following monday when Dennis returned to school. Throughout that week I asked all family members and my mom asked her coworkers and all together we raised about $200. On the following monday I gave the money to the principal and he gave it to Dennis’s parents when they came to pick him up from school. When I got home my mom had made me cookies and said words that every kid wants to hear. She said “I’m proud of you”. Every kid loves to hear it when their parents/loved ones tell them how proud they are of them. It's always nice to receive a compliment when you work so hard on something.
Looking back on the two events I highlighted their is one MAJOR similarity in both stories. Both stories involve things my mom has said to me. She played the major role in both stories and I think it shows something about me that I didn't even notice, and that is that I value what she has to say the most. If she says she's disappointed then it hits me deep, when she says she's proud it also hits me deep. She is a person in my life who I look up to and I think that that is why what she says affects me so much. It reveals the fact that maybe I am a little bit of a mama's boy.
The Yin
ReplyDeleteThey say words do not matter. They say to not let words cause self-ignominy. They say it is vital to let go of the pain.
This is true as can be, but there are just some things stated, however, that make it arduous to forget. If I could list all the awful words said about me, I would not do so without horrible flashbacks to when things were at its worst: words insulting my intelligence, words insulting my looks, words insulting my abilities, etc. The worst words ever directed to me that I can think of, however, has to be the following:
“You’re ugly with your dark skin”.
This remarked statement was the general subject of my mockery for years. When I was younger, I never had an issue with myself. In fact, since I did not see color, it did not matter to me since I was too young to understand anything. I recall realizing it, but I did not care. Regardless, these words continued. It began in the fourth grade, escalated in fifth, and was just downright stupid by the sixth. These words just tore me apart, and though I would smile and laugh, I was deeply discontent with myself. My self esteem dropped significantly with this as a major reason.
It is one thing when students would say all this nonsense about my skin, but what if it happens to be your own family as well? The people in life who supposedly support you? I remember my mom running down to the nearest African store to waste her money on this stupid imported bleaching lotion with “Lait Éclaircissant” written in bold, then possessing this pathetic mindset of the need to be lighter-skinned to be beautiful. Insecure with myself, I was stupid enough to use it (temporarily only). I would be upset and irritated when I would not find makeup foundations matching my color. I cried for days, hours, even weeks, desperately trying to not let these words affect me. I would look at my reflection or my pictures and just hate myself, wishing I were different to feel accepted…
I know, this sounds completely ridiculous, but it was one of those things about me that I have been concealing which hurt me for what felt like ages. Honestly as I look back, I wonder why I was so ludicrous in believing this, allowing it to break me. It was not until the eighth grade where I finally managed to tolerate my skin color.
The Yang
On the flip side, the best things ever said to me was that I am “gorgeous, kind, and intelligent”, which aided me in my self-opinion and acceptance. I wanted to fit in for the longest for multiple reasons, and the friends or even teachers who told me these alleviating words impacted me in huge ways they do not even understand. What outshines these positive words is when I was told, “You have a purpose despite what anyone says about you, and you will make it.” I was relieved after I heard this because I finally felt all that negativity disappearing. Up until then I interrogated the very fact of my own existence, fretted about my journey to my goals, and allowed the negativity to fuel the fire of discouragement. It was a revolutionary moment for me which caused me to come to the realization that I can achieve anything I put my mind to, regardless of my background or how I look.
Overall, these situations taught me that people can be cruel, even the ones we love the most, but you must individually maintain your self-pride, even if it is difficult and people strive to crush you. People cannot define you; you define yourself. This also taught me perseverance. I guess this negative experience of being bullied in the past partly composes the fact of my timidity whenever I meet new people, or in general. Sometimes, I get very anxious in situations like that, and I remember the awful words with flashbacks. However, I recall that if they do not really like me as myself, they are not genuine friends. This also means that I may look as I endure insults, but inside sometimes, my feelings become tumultuous, and when I feel bad, I tend to lie that I am okay when I really am not, trying to deal with it myself. Despite this, I am better than I was before.
Well, it is very hard to pick out the worst thing anyone has ever said to me. These days, people say something mean to me every day. I do not know what it is about me that makes people just want to put me down, but it must be really satisfying. In order to cope with this, I just pretend that they are joking, which I really hope they are. Since I never was the most popular kid, and the things I like to do were not popular at the time, the teasing was constant, and it all just blurs in my mind these days. This probably is not the worst thing that had been said to me, but it is one that changed me. Ever since I was young, I was teased about my hair. Now, the thing is, I was the only completely black boy in my class. The rest of the class had really wavy, long, or curly hair, and being young, they did not understand how my hair worked. They would constantly call me bald, and make other hair related jokes. It affected me so deeply at the time, that I changed subconsciously. Even after I got over them, and I left the school. I still wanted to grow my hair out. Even after I moved to a more diverse school, my hair preferences were permanently altered. This is my yin. It was the only insult that made me change something about myself. I still eat the same food that they made fun of, watch the same shows they made fun of, and I still play the same games they made fun of, but I probably won’t ever have the same hairstyle.
ReplyDeleteIt is a shame, but I do not remember as many compliments as I do negative comments. I do remember one comment really well. My yang would have to be when I was doing a skit for a competition. It was in the 8th grade, and my science teacher was telling us about the fine arts competition. It was a competition between a bunch of schools that included a bunch of different categories. I had taken interest in one of the individual categories for humor. It was a skit where I had to act out a bunch of different family members giving advice to the main character on how to give a speech. After I chose it, I started to get really nervous, and I really started to doubt myself. It was pretty long (3 pages I think?), but I managed to get it down. Our teacher had us perform our skits in front of the class, where I made a complete fool of myself (I had to act girly). That’s when I received a huge round of applause, and my teacher, as well as all of the students, told me that I was really funny. My confidence increased tenfold, and I performed for more and more teachers and students. When it came time for the event, I started to lose it again. There was a lot of people, but the judges seemed nice. When it came time for me to perform, a bunch of my friends and classmates who were there as well came to watch, and it calmed me. I gave the greatest performance ever! Everyone was laughing, and I won first place in my category! It was my first ever blue ribbon, and it made me feel as though I had something I was good at.
I think that my choice for the yin reveals that I am somewhat self-conscious about how I look. I think it is true, if someone says something about how I look, I do give thought to what they say. As for my yang, I think it reveals that I absolutely love when someone boosts my confidence/ego. That is very true, and I already know it. Who doesn’t like being praised?
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYin: “You make me sick.” This sentence has been said to me more times than it should have. Every single time I hear them I break out in tears. I assume it’s because those words have always had a very powerful meaning to me. Four simple words like that make me feel terrible inside. I am a very emotional person, so words are something I take seriously. It does not matter whether they are towards me or towards another person. Even when I hear somebody talking badly to somebody else, I get this weird empty feeling inside. I’ve grown up with both my parents talking to me badly. They always told me it was so I could grow up hard skinned, but I don’t ever feel hard skinned. I take some words to heart because words are a very strong and powerful thing. Words are used for people to express how they feel. Hearing “you make me sick” just shows how that person felt towards me at the time. (Don’t feel comfortable naming them). So knowing that I make someone else feel sick, makes me feel sick, and more importantly, makes me look at myself differently. The worst thing you could do to yourself is change how you look at yourself just because of what somebody else said.
ReplyDeleteYang: “I love your outfit.” I know this may be kind of silly, but this is one compliment that I love hearing. I’ve heard it multiple times by multiple people so I can’t really pinpoint who has said it to me. These words have always stuck out to me because I love dressing nice. Of course I get lazy at times and bum it, but other than that, I enjoy looking my best. Some people may think I do it for the attention from other people, but I don’t, I do it for myself. Ever since I was little I’ve loved looking nice whenever I went out. I used to try to wear my fancy Easter dress to school everyday in the 3rd grade because it was the nicest thing I owned. This is the best compliment I love receiving because I know how much effort I put in to buy nice clothes and to put different outfits together and it’s nice when somebody else notices it too.
I chose these two things because they make up who I am. I am an emotional person that takes four simple words seriously. My outfits express who I am as a person and shows how I can be different than others.
The worst thing ever said to me (because I always prefer the yin before the yang) was “You will never amount to anything”. I don’t remember who said this to me in particular, but no matter the person saying it, those words really cut deep. I think they really got to me because that is one of my biggest fears. I hate the thought that I may go through life, struggling through the severe moments and prospering through the superb moments, only to die, leaving nothing behind. This is also a fear of mine because I have witnessed poverty, and it sure isn’t pretty. I would hate nothing more than to end up struggling for the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing anyone has ever said to me was “I’m gonna talk to the Naval Academy’s rowing coach and tell him I have a sophomore rowing at colledgit levels”. I know I talk about rowing way too much, but this honestly was the best thing I’ve ever heard. This was when I realized what I wanted to do. I am in JROTC for military, why not attend the Naval Academy, become an officer, and fly jets for a career. Every little kids dream!
Words can hurt, words can tear someone apart from the inside-out, but words can also brighten someone's day, or even make a dream come true
The Yin: Words from anyone now do not have an effect on me or any kind of impact on my life. But when I was younger, I used to be really sensitive. To the point where I could probably win the biggest crybaby award. The worst thing that has ever been said to me would be, “You did not do well enough.” This was said to me by my family and sometimes by my friends when I was younger. I had failed to impress my mother with one of my performances at a piano recital or during an academic competition or when it comes to my grades. When I did not play the hardest difficulty/best sounding piece compared to the other students, my family would say that. When I did not rank high enough in an event, they would say that following with “why did you not study hard enough?” Or “maybe if you stop playing your games and talking to your friends, you would have done better.” When I did not get a high enough grade on a test or on the report cards, they give me a lecture about how I should not slack off or do this bad again. The same thing was said to me about my writing back in elementary school. One of my teachers had told me that my writing skills were not good and that I should not be at an accelerated level. This affected how I feel about my writing skills years after it because it was the first time a teacher told me that my writing sucked. But other teachers in the future had told me that my writing was better than what that teacher had said it was.
ReplyDeleteThe Yang: The best thing someone has ever said to me would be, “I wish that I was as smart or good (skill-wise) as you.” My friends would usually tell me that whenever I am tutoring them in a subject or performing a piano piece in public. For instance, one stranger, who I met at the teen arts festival during my eighth-grade year, came up to me saying that he wanted to be as good as I was on the piano. He had watched me perform, just before he went up to get scored too, and he was impressed with what I had thought was a messy performance. This boosted my self-esteem about my piano skills and when my friends say this to me about my knowledge in academic studies, it made me realize my proficiency with these things.
These two statements show that my personality is one that used to be easily affected. The yin helped me realize that I should not listen to the negative comments about me and that I should not let it get to me. It is better to ignore what others think of me. Which then shows my not-caring attitude whenever I hear insults directed at me by people I do not talk to as much or friends or family sometimes. But I do listen to what others say when it comes to criticism about my works or performances as shown by my yang. I just have matured from my past encounters with degrading words and from the positive ones to know when to filter them out or when to take them into consideration.
I don't like letting words get to me, usually I try to just brush them off. Sticks and stones and whatnot, but regardless of my best efforts sometimes you just can't avoid words and the intentions behind them. When I was thinking about the answer to this prompt I immediately thought of something that happened all the way back in 7th grade. So a friend and I were sitting at our lunch table waiting for our other friends to show up, when a person, whom I didn't like and who really didn't like me shows up and walks by us. The next thing this person did was they decided it would be funny to pull back on the corners of their eyes and called out "hows it going chinks, and immediately after this they just walked by laughing to themselves and a friend of theirs who'd found it equally funny. There's no way to describe just how mad I was, just calling it mad is an ASTOUNDING understatement. What makes it the worst to me is the way that its kept bothering me even now, regardless of how much I try to put it aside it persists anyway. Though if it didn't I guess I wouldn't write this blog post about it.
ReplyDeleteNow in comparison to the negative my positive probably seems insignificant but to me it holds some weight. So instead of taking it all the way back to what's practically prehistoric to me, I have something a little more recent. So freshman year in Mrs. Rocks class was an incredible experience and the highlight of it I would have to say was when we had to give these big speeches to the class, and a lot of people made them rather personal. After giving my speech I was told that I was a very good speaker, which I would say was probably the best compliment I've ever been given. I wouldn't say it was because it was the best thing i'd ever heard said about me but what it did for me. I really appreciated it, mainly because the entirety of that speech made me nervous as all get-out and hearing something like that really helped to boost my confidence in myself and on a really personal subject too.
I don't really know what it is that these examples show me about my personality, though looking back on the compliments received and the fact that they meant so much to me makes me actually think about the power behind words and also the negatives have made me reflect on the effect my words have.
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ReplyDeleteThe worst thing anyone has ever said to me was "I'm done." Words said to me by a person who… let's just not say. This was the worst thing ever said to me because I know I was the reason it was said and I was truly a mess up for it. This was more than a petty insult because within those two words, a thousand came spewing out. Within those two words came other such as "you weren't good enough" or "I don't love you like that anymore" or "you're a piece of…" Two words were so powerful when it was used like that and by that person. It made me feel terrible considering it also broke my heart and those words took away… someone I really cared about.
ReplyDeleteThe best compliment I've ever gotten was "You're smarter than me." This was told to specifically by my sister. I pride myself on my intelligence and I know that even if I ever lost myself in my feelings, I would still have my intelligence. I know that sometimes I can seem like a mean person and I can't make everyone like me, but intelligence is undeniable. I love being called smart especially when it's from someone who I believe to be very smart. This was even better because all my life I had always heard my parents asking my sister for help and asking her if what I was doing was right and for her to tell me that I was smarter than her was extremely fulfilling. My parents have constantly bugged me about studying cause my sister studied so much so hearing her say this also helped me reassure myself to my parents. This was the best compliment because of just all the things it gave me.
My choices reveal that I'm both insanely emotional but also that I care a lot about what other people think of me. Both these choices are here because they are showing me what other people think of me according to my ability. Both the compliment and worst thing I connected into a presence of or lack of ability. I couldn't care less if someone insulted me on my looks, but when they insult me on something that I can control, it make me feel as if I'm doing something wrong. But on the other hand, when someone compliments me on my ability, it makes me feel as if I've done something right.
I've had my fair share of comments. Yeah vast majority of them are negative but there are a few that are positive. Instead of listing the yin then the yang I'm choosing to list the yang and then the yin. It makes more sense that way.
ReplyDeleteThe Yang:
I don't get lots of compliments. Ever since I was little I've never given not received many compliments. The only times I've gotten compliments were because that person had an ulterior motive. There was one time on January 3rd, 2008 where I got a genuine compliment. Being the 7 year old that I was, I was naive and selfish. I had enrolled in a Pokémon Club to make new friends and to play Pokémon. During my time in my club, I had done something utterly stupid. I stole a kid's Pokémon card in order for my own gains. This card was a Kyogre EX. For all you non Pokémon fans, this card was rare and powerful. It contained moved and abilities that could trump any enemy. The person who I took the card from later found out. I gave him back the card and we dueled. In the end I lost. However he told me, "Your passion is overwhelming. I wish I was as good as you." Dazed and confused, I sat there pondering what he meant by that. He gave me the card and said I could keep it for the "good game". I realized that this is the best thing anyone had ever told me because I've never gotten a compliment before. This kid gave me my first genuine compliment. I realized that day that I'm actually good at something. I may not be the best but at least I'm good right?
The Yin:
I tend to hear a lot of bad things directed towards me. Maybe it's because my life is a negativity zone but I truly don't know. The worst thing someone has ever said to me is, "You'll never be as good as your brother". The person saying this was my father. My father said this to me on January 7th, 2008. This was four days after I heard my first compliment. On that day, I got a math test back. I got a 68. If I got a 68. on a Calculus test now I'd cry tears of joy but all I cried that day was tears of sadness. I showed my dad because it needed his signature and he was furious. My brother was always a straight A+ student at the time with nothing lower than a 90 on anything. The fact that I had gotten a D on a math test almost put my father in cardiac arrest. He believed that I was useless and that nothing could help me. This put a permanent dent in the relationship of my father and I. The reason why this is the worst thing I've ever heard is because now I hear it so much. Instead of living in my brother's shadow, I want to live in my own light. I want my father to realize that I'm my own human being but that would never happen.
I think my choices of the best and worst things said to me reflects how I function. I like it when people tell me I'm good at things. I always have. Whenever I get a comment on how great I did something my body tingles with happiness. On the other hand, any time I'm told that I won't live up to expectations or that I will never be as good as someone else I feel upset. It makes me feel worthless and that I should give up.
For some reason I have terrible memory. There is no way I can remember all details or any major details. If the subject is interesting, there’s a slim chance I would remember it. A very slim chance. One thing is steadfast in my memory is something people can say to me that blows my top is being called something else that is not what I am. I won’t say what it is so I won’t seem like a racist, the people are nice, but I’ll just say it deals with nationalism. I was not born in the beautiful country of Nepal nor have I ever went to the said beautiful place. However, I have pride in being Nepalese. With the earthquake in 2015 and one of the settings in Doctor Strange being Nepal, the country should be a little well known. And yet, there are still people who don’t know about my country. Whenever I tell someone I am Nepalese, he/she gives me a confused impression. I know I’m a citizen of the US, however, I still have pride in my race.So when someone says I am of another race when I told said person what I am repeatedly, I get a little hot under the collar.
ReplyDeleteNow for the opposite of yin. For the yang, I can’t remember clearly of the best comment ever given to me. I know it is out there but it is in the deepest depth of my memories. So I will pick the next best comment. It is “You’re getting better”. The people, and I say people since it is more than just one person, that said it are teachers of old. These days I’m not improving as well as I once did. During the basics of math and english where all you had to do was add 2+2 and read a book, I did my best but I only got satisfactory on the interims. Then I worked harder and my teachers commented that I was getting better. And as I improved and got better, I came to where I am now. At a standstill, but that’s not the point here. Looking at fellow friends back in Hess and Shaner, I thought I was not going to be good as my friends. But then my teachers said I was improving and I was soon on par if not ahead of said friends. Saying I was getting better helped my ego to know I was improving and that I wouldn’t remain behind.
Looking at the best and worst comments that are directed to me, I can see that I want to be better and I want to be correctly raced. As one of my friend says, “those who stay behind get left behind” and I definitely don’t want to stay behind in the competitive world of today. I also want to not be slandered in any form. I know who I am, or at least I think I do, and I don’t want to be thought of as anything else.
The Yin: I’ve never really been deeply affected by people's words. They might sting a little but words can always be manipulated so they aren’t concrete feelings. Someone might say “I hate you” but that won’t really have an effect compared to offering me out to lunch then bolting out the restaurant when they see the waiter, at the very least from that I can tell you don’t like me. So coming up with a hurtful statement towards me that has scarred an everlasting impression on me hasn’t been easy. What did stick out to me was something directed towards my mom that indirectly targeted me. “You should never own a pet again” were the words uttered to my mom as we made the devastating decision to bring our dog back to the rescue we got her from. Molly, a fox hound who mistakenly ended up at a beagle rescue, was a great dog but she had one flaw my family could not live with. She DID NOT like children and having two brothers younger than me and soon-to-be cousins we saw this as a potential disaster. While we did worry about what could happen to one of us we also were worried that if Molly did end up biting someone we would be forced to put her down. All she needed was a good home with an older couple so we figured we could give the dog back to the shelter so the search could begin. She was welcomed with open arms; my family...not so much. The woman running the rescue might have had a sweet spot for animals(maybe not but I will never know) but she definitely didn’t have one for pet owners. She argued with my mom until that sentence came up which ultimately brought my mom to tears. My mom had a variety of dogs, as well as cat named Vader, at a very young age so needless to say they were a major part of her life. In turn, she passed this onto me with Vader being there my first day on this planet to the all of my wacky pets(I would name them all but it wouldn’t fit right in the blog) that followed. Pets are part of the family, you give them all of the love you possibly can in return for their love to you. To hear someone criticizes my mom ,as well as my family, for our husbandry of our animals as to say that the efforts we make are wrong is heartbreaking. It makes you question everything you’ve done as a pet owner and if you really did provide your pets with the care they needed.
ReplyDeleteThe Yang: By now it should be apparent of how much my pets affect my life so this leads to one of the greatest compliments I’ve ever received. About three years ago for christmas my parents told me that I would be getting a pet bearded dragon. I was filled with ecstasy considering I dreamed of having one for years. It was nerve racking at first because this was about to be the first pet I solely took care for. I was faced with responsibilities and choices that I believe are going to help in the future. From learning to stay on schedule for feeding to overcoming my fear of bugs because live crickets are a main part of bearded dragon's diet, it was a meticulous undertaking. I can’t quite remember exactly when but it was after months of hard work that my mom finally said “I bet she(bearded dragon) loves you.”. These words meant the world to me due to my mothers past with animals along with her feeling that I was doing the right thing to care for my pet. The task of taking care of another living creature is unlike any other so to hear that my mom ,who raised me with two younger brothers, believe in me and what I was doing to care for my own “child” could never have felt any better.
I would like to think that my love for animals can translate to me being a caring person. Animals have and will always be a core part of my life. Even though I have my eye on taking up a career related to computers my backup plan has always been to take care of animals. I feel that the way we treat other creatures can reveal how we treat other humans. This also means that by taking in pets to care for we can learn to improve how we care for others. People can be cold so it’s nice to know that animals without the same intelligence or complexity of humans can learn to love us blindly. We can all learn from our pets.
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ReplyDeleteWords hold power; there is no mistake to that saying, however I am barely affected by other's words. Perhaps some of the only words that can stir up some annoyance in me would be when people tell me, "You're an asshole". No, not in the joking way that people usually say it, but when people truly mean it. This doesn't really bother me too much, but enough that it stands out to me because the only reason people say this is when they don't fully know me yet and come to a conclusion based on one or two things I've said. For those reading who don't know me, I enjoy cracking subtle jokes at the worst times for one or two people to hear. This mostly goes wrong when people who don't know me hear the jokes and think "Wow, that was really messed up/offensive". And for people who know me and are reading this, I know you can think of many times I've made those precisely timed jokes and can clearly see how it could go wrong when others hear. Other than that, I don't really appreciate when people speak ill of my family (You didn't live with them, I did) etc.
ReplyDeleteSo while words don't really bother me too much, I cannot specifically think of a string of words that pull on my heart and make me feel as if it was the best thing said to me. Instead, I just enjoy making people laugh (would that count as haha? Maybe?). To see that I can cause some joy in other people's day also brightens my mood as well. It sucks to be surrounded by a bunch of gloomy, stressed out classmates all the time, so I find something to say to make them smile. I know that it's impossible to please everyone, however I believe that just improving the lives of those around you, if only with a simple laugh every day, can never go wrong.
Ultimately, I chose these reasons because I feel they reflect some of my personality. I hate to be misunderstood or misinterpreted, as well as the fact that I enjoy seeing the people around me have some good times in their life, or even just their day. It is due to this that I am a firm believer that it is not just words that hold power over people, but actions as well.
The things people say to us either make us stronger or tear us into pieces. Personally, I choose to take words and build my character on them, so eventually those building blocks are so strong, no one can knock you down. Despite my dad understanding me one hundred percent now, he didn’t always have the same views as me. To give you some background information: when my dad was in high school he was star football player, baseball player, wrestler, track and field star, and he bowled. And then further on in his life he had me…a little girl who loved music. Moving on to when I was in middle school, he said the worst thing anyone has ever said to me. “Why are you in band, that is for losers. If you were my son, you would be playing football right now.” Now as you can imagine, being the little sensitive preteen as I was, it broke my heart to hear him say that. I feel as though I was a disappointment to him, that he didn’t want me. That he didn’t understand me and accept me. I believe this was the worst thing for me to hear because my whole life is devoted to music. And in that moment, I felt as if he took a sledgehammer and my heart and dreams were shattered. My tears and hopes drained out of me. Music means the world to me and it broke my heart to hear that one of my parents didn’t approve of what I liked, and they thought I was a loser.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, the best compliment I recieved came from my sister. It was Halloween of last year and the marching band just won Championships. I was on my way home and even before I could wipe away all the tears and get my head on straight, everyone in Mays Landing knew that we won. It was truly the best day of my life so far, and one of my biggest accomplishments. As I looked at my phone on the way back to Oakcrest, I saw that my 10 year old sister texted me even though it was late at night. It read, “Brittany, I am so proud of you. You are the best musician I ever have heard. Congrats on your win. I am so lucky to have you as my sister and when I grow up I want to be just like you.” And right as I read the last line, I started bawling again just as I thought my emotions were done. This meant the world to me because I’ve always had role models in my life: Sophie, Joey, Lynnette, etc. But, this was the first time I felt like I was the role model. And it meant the world to me that my own blood sister looked up to me. My sisters mean the absolute world to me and I strive to be my best for them and to give advice and guide them through their lives (and on most occasions embarrass and laugh at their mistakes).
These two situations reflect my personality because I spent many years finding out who I am and what I like, and it feels good when people recognize that. And on the other hand, I know people may not agree with my hobbies and passions, but when it comes from people whose opinions I care about, it hurts. It also shows that I care about my family’s opinions of me and what I do. Although no matter if their opinion is negative or positive, it’s still apart of me and makes me who I am. They are the building blocks of me.
Yin: The worst thing someone has ever said to me is “ You're from Africa. Poor and dumb.” It was the worst thing because what the person said to me was rude and disrespectful to my family's heritage. The moment he voiced it, I wondered if he was a xenophobic, callow, or straight up obtuse. I had two emotions that flowed into my mind like a river. I was unnerved and unaffected simultaneously. He didn't have the right to cast judgement on someone harshly. I almost felt like an outcast. He was pretty much inimical by the tone of his statement which was prideful and arrogant. At first it made me feel embarrassed and doubtful about where half of my family originated from but what he said about me didn't match up with me at all. I was intelligent but acted dumb to see how differently people act and their true personality. Though I was smart, I barely show it off, in order to connect with anyone easily. (Come on, who would always want to be with a person whom is truly smarter than you. You would feel and compare yourself to that person thinking you're little, useless, dumb and pathetic. Which comes to my main point. No one is dumb, it depends on how hard the individual is trying on that subject.) Second of all, I'm not poor at all. I come from a royal lineage ”The Prempeh family”. Overall it nullifies his claims about me showing how ignorant he is. However what made me doleful was the fact he corresponded it to Africa. Africa is not entirely poor and they're not dumb as well. The reason why he even implied those things was because he didn't have the true knowledge or experience of what Africa looks like. And they aren't dumb either for they take their education and lives seriously. Leading them to be great in the future.
ReplyDeleteYang: The best compliment I ever received was in Comp. Applications, “This student is a hard worker and outstanding in class, I wish I had twenty five of him in my class. It was mentioned by Ponzetti. I was elated to hear that compliment. I was glad to know that what I was doing in class was pleasing to him. Being a hard worker and an outstanding student are the two most common attributes a teacher would say about me. Knowing this made me want to reach for the stars just like how the cow jumped over the moon in the “Hey Diddle, Diddle” nursery rhyme. It kind of made me, to become an overachiever which you could say is a beautiful result.
Furthermore, the attributes that reveal about my personality from my yin and yang is that I am adamant, a hard worker, unique in my own way, helpful, not judgemental and understanding. Another one is that if anyone attempts to bring me down, I will either bring them also ( Which isn't right choice) or alter their statement into an optimistic one. In a long run, I would say everyone in the world are, intelligent, unique and full of untapped potential within themselves.
The Yin:
ReplyDeleteThe most despicable quite utterly disgusting thing that anyone has ever parted their lips to say is " If your not like your sister you will never be shit". The most damaging thing someone has ever said to me came from the idle person whose supposed to say the most blissful things to you your mother. My entire life my mom has treated me basically like a step child and placed my other siblings on a pedestal. The night she said those words to me was a night full of home cooked meals and strong cocktails. A wise man named Charlie Chaplin once said, " A man's true thoughts come out when they're drunk." On thanksgiving night of 2015 my mom decided that it was a good idea to bash my sister in front of about 50 people. As I listen to her ramble on and on excessively about how my sisters a narcissistic individual who thinks the world revolves around her. I imagined in my head that I had telekinesis and I lifted the bottle of Vodka and smash it right up side her fucking head. When we finally got driven home that night I contemplated calling her a bitch or telling her I hated her from the bottom of my heart and really meaning it. People always ask how can you feel some much hatred towards your own mother? But, in all actuality its not like their was auditions for which mother you want to raise you. You just get who you get and you deal with it. You deal with all the shit they put you through because, thats your mother or your father not because, you want to. When do you actually drawl the line of the the things you allow people to say to you? Yeah, its hard to fathom some of the things parents actually do and say to their children but, don't be so provincial. Everybody doesn't have loving parents or parents that fell right from the firmament. Some of us have ones that probably levitate from hell. Now, once I finally decided to confront my mom about her embracing actions at the thanksgiving party. She attacked me like literally full fledged brawl. Then, topped the whole shit off with a cherry on top "If your not like your sister you'll never be shit." That was a low blow she's said some hurtful things in the past but, never that shallow. Yeah, I love her to death but, somethings you just don't say regardless of the circumstances. The problem with society is people want to have kids but, don't want to be parents is ridiculous.
My entire life I've been compared with other people to the point I still catch myself putting myself in competition with other people obliviously. It taught me to be my own person today my sister is the golden child and I love her for it. But, I want to pave my own way to success and create my own legacy. I'm only striving to be better than one person. The person I was the day before. Words hurt and they cut deep some scars just don't ever fade we just put on a thicker skin over them. No pun intended but, the words that damage me the post made everything after it sequencing after it numb to me.
Yang:
The best significant compliment I ever received from someone was that " don't give up your amazing you inspire me to do better." Those are the words that give me strength that give me the momentum that keeps me pushing forward striving for the best. They came from my best friend of 11 years now. God couldn't have put a better person in my path then her. These words were the difference between life in death. Literally nights I contemplated suicide because, my life was so unbearably bad. I didn't want to live anymore. When you realize that other people need you on this earth to keep you going touches your heart in a different kind of way. It makes you want to live life to the fullest for not only yourself but, that person as well. If it wasn't for that I probably wouldn't be here to write this blog today. I contemplated posting this because, it's personal and it hits home for me but, its real.
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ReplyDeleteI am absolutely sick of people sawing calling me a child. “You’re just a child what do you know”. It makes you feel so good and makes you feel so insecure. You ever have confidence and its terrible. Whenever I hear it I just want to explode. Just because I am young doesn’t not mean anything of my intelligence. I like to pride myself in the work and dedication I put towards LEARNING. There is a lot of this most adults don’t even know. I have thoughts of my own. I am not some immature little boy who is stuck in their own little world. These words make me just want to learn more and prove people wrong even if it makes that person feel stupid. Because in the end if you don’t gain that respect you will never be taken seriously. Your point will never get a crossed because it will be see as child’s play.
ReplyDeleteNicest thing ever said to me was from my dad. My dad is a very stoic man and doesn’t exactly shoot the easiest man to talk to. He’s very respectful and I respect him as my father and a man that I look up to be the best man I know. So I always find myself wanting to please him and make him proud. And one day he just be very vocal about how proud he is. Said That I have grown and couple be prouder. For the longest time I have not hope because I never knew how he felt or if I was even close to making him proud. But after he said it is really made me realize how far I’ve come from when I was indeed a boy and now.
1) late
ReplyDelete2) please proof read.
“You cannot wrestle if you continue the path you're going with your grades.” Now to anyone reading this, that means nothing to them. But to someone who is so lively and intrigued into a sport then you know how hard it can be when someone doesn't allow you to do what you love. I've been wrestling since I was 3 years old. Nothing mattered to me like the first day of wrestling season, the hype, the build up, I loved it all. Nothing ever seemed quite at home like a wrestling mat to me. I'm not real big on depending on others, that's why I love the sport the way that I do. It's just you out there and maybe a bad referee. My grandpa is usually on me about my grades and can be a dick at times but in the end he means well and knows what I have to do to be successful. Usually every year he says it before the season so that I do very well the first marking period/trimester so I am not stressing during the season. When he says that to me every year my body gets a rush of heat and i become overwhelmed but in the end I get what I need done and continue my wrestling.
ReplyDelete“Yes,” is probably the best thing anyone has ever said to me. Now again, to someone reading this, it may sound stupid. But those three letters go a long way. It could be as simple as when you ask to go to a movie and your parents say, “yes.” You typically tend to get excited that they would say yes, and it changes your whole mood. No one likes to be told, “no.” The one word answer could be as significant as when you ask not only your best friend but your better half, “Will you be my girlfriend?” AND THEY RESPOND, “YES.” Anyone can say yes and make an impact on your life but no one will make as big of an impact with that one word in my life than Jessica Bixha. Sure we have ups and downs but no one, no one at all, can compare to her. Quite frankly, anything she says has a huge impact on me but my favorite is, “yes.”
You can say I didn't put much effort into this and that my quotes arent worth getting mad or excited about but to me, those two things are everything. My wild journey on the mat and my even wilder journey with Jessica. Nothing makes me happier than those two things and I have no idea what could make anyone feel the way that I feel about them. With wrestling, pain is only temporary and with Jess, well… that's forever.